7 Things I Wish I Knew When I was 20
Important life lessons and principles to live by to have a happier and healthier life.
There are some things that you learn with age and wish you’d known much earlier. Today, I am compiling a list of the seven most important life lessons that I learned a bit too late.
My hope is that anyone who reads this finds at least one thing that resonates with them and becomes a principle they live by. Let’s get started.
1. Never Let Someone Tell You They Don’t Want You Twice
When I first heard Steve Harvey say this, my mind was blown. It made me realize what a fool I’d been and how easily I could have avoided so much pain and heartbreak in my life.
This is a principle to live by and I wish I knew this a decade ago.
If someone says they don’t want you, leave right away. Just get up and leave. Yes, it’s difficult. Yes, you’ll grieve. But it’ll be better than dragging things and getting more hurt later.
2. Non-Conformity is a Sign of Intelligence
This is something that I’ve realized over the years. It’s not the intelligent, curious, and strong minds that conform, but the weaker ones.
Intelligent people question the status quo and think about how to change things for the better. They’re always on a quest to learn new things and improve on things that just don’t work anymore.
If you find yourself questioning things often and feel like you don’t fit within societal roles, you have a superior mind. So, don’t try to conform and keep changing things for the better.
3. Everything is Transient — This Too Shall Pass
This is my key learning from my 10-day Vipassana mediation retreat. Everything in life is transient, both good things and bad.
So, there’s no point getting frustrated at things that are bad or craving for things that you like. Living in this moment is the only thing you should focus on.
Living in the past or worrying about the future is only going to make you sad. Even if you think about happy things like great memories, you’ll miss the good times and feel bad in the present.
This moment, right now, is all you have. Experience it fully and relish it. This too shall pass.
4. It’s OK to Say No
When I was young, I felt very uncomfortable saying no to people. I went accepted invitations even though I didn’t really want to go. I’d go out of my way to do things for people, sometimes at my own cost.
As I grew older, I realized:
You don’t lose your real friends by saying no.
Anyone who refuses to be your friend if you don’t do something for them is not your real friend anyway. Let them go.
You need to prioritize yourself over others. After all, you can’t make everyone happy and someone is bound to get disappointed. Let that not be you.
5. Making Mistakes is the Best Way to Learn and Grow
As a youngster, I used to get embarrassed and mortified when I made a mistake. I’d feel so ashamed that I screwed things up that I would avoid seeing people who knew what I’d done.
It was a classic example of black-and-white thinking- a cognitive distortion. It seemed like the end of my social life whenever I made a mistake publicly. I also worried that my career would end because I made a mistake.
Now, I know better. Mistakes are inevitable. But, when I do make a mistake, I correct it and move forward. I’ve learned to accept my mistakes and apologize if needed.
6. No One Gives a Fuck, So No Point Worrying About What Others Think
As I grow older, I give no fucks about a lot of things, especially what others are thinking about me.
I don’t spend my time thinking about what others I doing, as I have my own life to deal with. Then isn’t that true for everyone else? Isn’t everyone facing their own struggles and busy with their own lives?
No one is sitting at home thinking about what dress you wore or how you choose to live your life. They don’t care and you shouldn’t either.
Stop worrying about what others think and focus on living your life. I know it’s easier said than done and I’ve come up with a solution.
Whenever you find yourself worrying about other people’s opinions, just remember:
No one gives a fuck, do what you want.
Make it your motto and live by it. It will make your life much less stressful.
7. The Best Way to Spend Money is on Experiences and Not Things
When I was in my 20s, all my extra money would go into shopping for clothes, shoes, and other material possessions. I had over 30 pairs of shoes at one point, which I think is too much for anyone.
Now, all I want to spend money on is food and travel. I want to go out and have life experiences that will make me feel alive.
You probably don’t need one more little black dress, but going on that solo trip might do wonders for your mental and emotional well-being. I will repeat myself:
Spend money on experiences, not things.
Final Thoughts
I wish I knew these things when I was younger as it would have saved me from a lot of things. But I guess I needed to go through every single thing to become the person that I am today.
That doesn’t mean you need to wait a decade and learn from experience. I hope you learn these things today and apply them in your day-to-day life. All the best!
