8 Things You Must Remember to Build Unstoppable Confidence
Every advantage counts, especially regarding self-belief.
“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But, with confidence, you have won even before you have started.” — Marcus Garvey.
Confidence is a precious trait.
You can confidently create your world and influence the people in it.
Confidence helps us feel ready for life’s experiences even when we are not. When confident, we are more likely to move forward with opportunities instead of shy away from them. The added benefit is if things don’t work in our favor, then confidence helps us try again.
It’s the opposite when confidence is low; when it’s low, fear creeps in and can stay a long time.
Confidence is a person’s greatest accessory. I can guarantee everyone understands the importance of confidence, but a bigger question is why many lack confidence while knowing it is crucial.
If you think about it, “How to gain confidence?” is one of the most searched terms on the internet, possibly right behind “How to eliminate belly fat?” and “How to make more money now?” Of course, I am being facetious, but it is a question inquiring minds want to be answered.
I won’t tell you that I am the pinnacle of confidence, as I also suffer from a lack of confidence in some areas. However, my only advantage is that I often try different things to improve my confidence.
I am mindful of where I don’t feel confident and work at it daily, reminding myself while walking to keep my head up straight and shoulders back when in a new environment — or simply keeping eye contact while in a conversation. These simple acts help remind me that I can belong anywhere.
You can do many different things to be confident, but here are 8 things you must remember to keep you confident on any given day.
Every advantage counts, and these reminders will be easy to apply.
1. Remember that you are a work in progress.
Always remember that progress takes time, and you are a work in progress.
You are not perfect, and you’re not expected to be. Anyone who expects perfection from you may not have your best interest at heart.
Do not allow the fear of failing to stop you from going forward.
Do not allow the fear of responsibility to stop you from committing.
Do not allow the fear of exposure to prevent you from thriving.
(Reread those lines and repeat them often, as you don’t need anything to stop you.)
The sad thing is people believe they should be all and know all; if they do not know, they feel like they are somehow a failure.
If you look at popular self-help material, it is easy to feel like you don’t measure up if you are not where the author is; or even if you look at colleagues and see they seem to be doing right while you may not be. Comparison is a thief of joy. Comparing your life to someone’s highlight reel is a recipe for jealousy, envy, or depression.
But everyone started as a beginner. To gain competency or a decent level of skill in anything requires a build-up over time.
There is nothing weak or inferior about not knowing the information right away. You are a work in progress; many people are afraid to fail because they see failure as an embarrassment or sign of weakness.
Here is the beauty; there is nothing weak about failure, as failure helps you fine-tune your shortcomings. Once you understand your flaws, you are now at a place where you can do something about them.
2. Remember to indulge in experiences.
Experience is powerful.
“I am not what happened to me; I am what I choose to become.” ― Carl Jung.
As an avid reader, I love how reading expands my worldview. I have been in many time zones, throughout history, in different worlds, and even visited the future via books and imagination. However, lived experience differs; you cannot read your way to lived experience. You have to live it.
For example, writing is the only way to become a better writer. You can’t talk, read, or think your way to becoming a better writer, no matter what anyone says. If you want to build a business, you have to act upon it.
The experience is necessary because that is where the customized lesson arrives.
Someone can tell you about their failures and give you caution; however they are not YOU, they don’t think, act and move like you; so the experiences will vary. At best, it’s good-intentioned wisdom.
Experience gives you wisdom, it gives you a chance to overcome fear, and it is a second chance to become seasoned.
You become a student life learning through a set of diverse experiences.
How to gain experience?
-Take on new opportunities.
-Meet new people.
-Constantly expose your mind to new things.
-Encourage new schools of thought.
Having an open mind will take you places and expand your confidence in many ways.
3. Remember to practice your goals.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” — Lao Tzu.
One step at a time is essential; this is true then, now, and forever — small steps always lead to big things.
For example;
-A book is a compilation of many single pages.
-Great oratory is a compilation of speeches over time.
-Wisdom is a compilation of your lifetime of lessons learned.
And so on.
Everyone starts somewhere; the difficulty comes when people want to start at the finish line.
You will eventually finish, but you have to start somewhere, and practice is the best way.
4. Remember to embrace change.
“I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.” — Georg C. Lichtenberg.
Change is a challenge for many. We fear change because it means that outcomes are unknown. Our brains are designed to find peace in knowing and having a structure. When we don’t know what will happen, we create scenarios that create worry.
Humans find it hard to move on when something known ends.
Sometimes it boils down to a simple question — “What are you afraid of?” If you are afraid of a particular thing, chances are you may need to do that exact thing you fear, as success is on the other side of fear.
The book “Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway” by Susan Jeffers states that fear is not a psychological problem but an educational one.
Unfortunately, many of us treat fear as an obstacle that stops us from moving forward. The truth is, fear surfaces whenever we take a risk or try something new — the issue is not with fear per se, but how we handle that fear.
Too many tolerate a lifetime of mediocrity because they settle for a life without change. So many people want to try new things but are afraid to embrace change.
A simple way to embrace change is to think of a person you want to be and live the life you want to lead — like a role model. For example, many guys like to use James Bond or Idris Elba as male role models for Swaggart. Mimicking things you like about someone for some time is a helpful change of behavior until you feel comfortable with what you want to be.
“The price of doing the same old thing is far higher than the price of change.” — Bill Clinton.
5. Remember to take the hard road.
Difficulty is a law of life, and those who look only to the past or present comforts are sure to miss out on great opportunities.
Taking a hard road is not easy, as humans always prefer the path of least resistance. However, who can blame anyone that wants comfort?
I always think of something the late great Kobe Bryant once said; “You’re not going to make it anywhere by taking the easy way out.”
This quote is an excellent reminder that we must take the difficult path to achieve our goals. We must remember that hard work and determination are the only way to achieve greatness. That is not easy, and it seems like a great platitude, but it is a fact of life. All of our present comforts came from that which was once difficult.
While not always chosen, the challenging roads are where the insights come from, and if you can endure, you will emerge with unshakable confidence.
For example, the best salespeople worldwide take the hard road to being great, exposing themselves to constant rejection. Yet, when they emerge, they have “thick skin” like a crocodile and a different attitude primed for success. Moreover, they appear with experience of new ways to overcome objections and new strategies that increase growth, leading to revenue and eventually mastery.
Comfort versus challenge is a big choice we face daily, but the choice we make ultimately determines our success.
6. Remember to follow your advice.
If you want to be successful, follow the advice you give to others.
I promise you — you are wiser than you think.
Unfortunately, our upbringing, parents, or other factors chipped at our confidence, resulting in us devaluing our wisdom. When that happens, we embrace others’ knowledge more readily than our own.
It is not to say you are being arrogant, but when you know you are wise and capable of wisdom, it is a powerful thing. Unfortunately, it took me my whole life to understand this lesson. I would give countless people advice and be praised and thanked, but it was hard for me to take my own advice. Finally, I recognized it was an issue of confidence, and It took me time to fix it, but I am much better now.
I wouldn’t be able to write this article without the confidence of knowing it is sound wisdom.
Please believe in yourself and capitalize on your understanding. You will help so many people that way.
A great way to follow your advice is to pretend your friend is coming to you for help. What would you tell them?
Tell yourself what you think they should do chances are you need to hear that advice.
7. Remember to practice brutal honesty with yourself.
“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” ― Les Brown
Accountability is everything. If you don’t address where your strengths and weaknesses lie, you always have that blind spot. Chances are you know exactly where it is yet might be afraid to do something about it.
But, If you don’t know where it is, ask someone very close to you, and they can tell you.
The more you learn about your strengths and weaknesses, the more confident you will feel. Once you know where you stand, it will be your choice to stay there or progress.
The difference is now you will own the situation.
8. Remember to express yourself.
You destroy your confidence when you don’t speak up or think what you have to say is essential. But unfortunately, the weight of others’ opinions is a burden many of us bear daily.
However, when you hold in your expressions, it can feel stifling. On the other hand, when you express yourself, you gain more confidence because you no longer wish you would have said anything — you actually did.
How many dreams and ideas have gone to the grave because we were afraid to express ourselves?
Self-expression is vital in a world trying to make you conform to others’ rules and lifestyles.
Being yourself is excellent for mental health; your confidence gets a tremendous boost once you feel free.
Expressing yourself comes in many ways, via:
Art
Originality
Skills
Dance
Communication
Talking
Speaking up for others
Etc.
Whatever you choose, don’t be afraid to express yourself daily.
If you do the small steps daily and incorporate them into your life, you will be surprised by how much confidence you will obtain. You might become unstoppable.
I wish you well.
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