A 65-Year-Old Grandma’s Dilemma: Helping with Grandkids Leads to a Difficult Choice
The Selfless Love of Grandparents: A Heartwarming Story
There’s a saying:
“May the elderly have support, and the young have care.”
These days, retirement homes are empty, while kindergartens are packed with parents.
Kids these days are spoiled. They get everything they want. But parents barely see their own children.
I once asked my mom:
“Who do people love more, their parents or their kids?”
She said:
“Their own kids, of course!”
I didn’t get it then, but now I realize she was right.
Sixty-five-year-old Carol has a problem:
After retiring, she helped raise her grandson. Her son had a work emergency, and his wife was about to have their second child.
Carol had just retired, so she stepped in.
Her daughter-in-law eventually had a second baby. Now that the second child is in kindergarten, Carol wants to stop helping.
Her son wasn’t happy when she refused to take care of the second child.
Feeling hurt, Carol went to stay with her daughter for a few days.
While she was there, her second son called. He wanted her to take care of his kid, too!
Carol’s arthritis was acting up. She told him she wasn’t feeling well. He mumbled complaints, convinced she was making excuses.
Carol’s daughter told her:
“Stop helping them. Stay here. You don’t have to take care of my kids either. We can just enjoy life. You deserve to relax now that you’re retired.”
Carol knew her daughter was right. But she still cared about her grandkids. With her health declining, she felt stuck.
Understand Your Parents
Kids, understand your parents. People save their best for strangers and their worst for family.
Some are polite in business and at work but rude to their parents.
We apologize to strangers when we mess up, afraid of upsetting them. We understand them.
But with our parents? We argue, even when they’ve done nothing wrong.
Many are tough on loved ones and soft on everyone else.
Why understand strangers but not our parents? They give us the most yet seem to owe us the most.
Just because they helped your siblings with their kids, does that mean they have to help you?
They were already exhausted. Do they owe you something?
Understand your parents. They have their own struggles.
Respecting Your Parents Is Your Duty
Caring for your children is your responsibility. But respecting your parents is also your duty.
There’s a saying:
“Your children will have their own fortune.”
Don’t obsess over your kids. Don’t pressure them to be better than everyone else. They don’t have to do everything other kids do. It might make them unhappy.
Focus on what they really need, not what you think they need.
Take care of your parents. They need you most. They raised you. Now that they’re older, don’t make them raise your kids, too.
If you can’t respect your parents, you can’t teach your kids to respect you. Be a good example. As they say:
“Parents are their children’s first teachers.”
If you ignore and disrespect your parents, your kids might do the same. If everyone acts like this, who will feel safe and loved?
Respecting your parents is also for your own future.
Don’t Be Selfish
Don’t be selfish, especially with your parents. Don’t take advantage of them.
The son expected his mother to care for his kids just because she helped his brother. When she said she was unwell, he assumed she was lying to get out of it.
What if she really was sick? Shouldn’t he care? He didn’t. He assumed she was fine and just making excuses.
We worry when others are unwell. But this son didn’t care. Clearly, his parents meant little to him.
Someone that selfish with their parents has no love in their heart.
Don’t Feel Cheated
Thankfully, Carol’s daughter spoke up. She has a good heart.
People call daughters their little cotton jackets for a reason. They provide warmth and comfort.
Don’t feel cheated by your parents. Don’t think they owe you something. They fed you, clothed you, and protected you. Now you think they favor your siblings?
Even if they do, you wouldn’t be where you are without them.
Don’t focus on how they treat others. Remember their sacrifices. Don’t demand they do for you what they do for others.
Those who understand their parents’ sacrifices are worthy human beings.
Many parents give everything for their children, only to be left with nothing. They help their sons and daughters, but their children feel entitled and resentful.
Kind people respect their parents. They remember where they came from.
