A Battle Within…
“Weight loss doesn’t begin in the gym with a dumbbell; it starts in your head with a decision.” Toni Sorenson
Every day I am fighting battles within myself. I find I have conversations in my mind. I have to convince myself to do things that are right and good.
As I put on weight, I became more sedentary and lazy. It took me a while to understand how my ungainliness impacted my self-esteem, mood and dealings with others. My clothes tightened, and my need to eat more sweets and junk food increased.
Then I was compelled to go shopping for clothes that fit, and I suffered great anxiety that only extra-large clothes were suitable. The progress from size medium to extra large in a couple of years was swift and ruthless.
In a trial room, maybe it’s the size of the room or the mirrors placed all around that magnify your bulk. I was shocked at seeing my reflection and always ended up feeling miserable. As a result, I bought loose, shapeless clothes that I felt hid all the excess weight I had gained.
Alas! Quite to the contrary, it did not have the desired effect.
Hence began the conversations within; I needed to snap out of my lazy existence and start a regime of exercise and eating right. Fortunately, the threat of covid was dying, and one could go back to a routine of exercise. It also meant giving up all the unhealthy food that I devoured as I gained weight.
The take-off was slow. I could not give up sweets. I would cheat very often initially. I restarted my yoga classes and took to swimming daily. Exercise does induce positivity, and I started feeling fitter. The moment I dropped a few kilos, I was motivated to be careful about what I ate. It did take effort and consistency for my appetite to shrink. I began consuming less food and avoided fizzy drinks and junk food.
The process of losing weight post menopause is slow. Yet exercise has become a way of life, and eating right is a habit I am trying to cultivate. I am careful, and if I eat out on a particular day, I ensure the meal at home is very light. I also adapted to eating an early dinner and a late or no breakfast, unintentionally adhering to intermittent fasting, which is said to help maintain weight loss.
Despite losing a couple of kilos, I still have a long way ahead. I feel healthier, more energetic, and can now climb up stairways without huffing and puffing. My tight clothes now fit easily, and some look oversized, which makes me feel great.
Of course, since losing weight is slow and tedious, only my discerning friends notice that I am getting fitter.
Another hobby that I have recently developed is gardening and tending to plants. It reduces the hours I spend sitting on my couch watching random stuff on the OTT platform. Sitting is said to be as harmful as smoking. So now that I have more time on my hands, I prefer pottering around and tending to my plants. Not only is it therapeutic, but it also calms my uneasiness.
“Most people give up right before the big break comes – don’t let that person be you.” Michael Boyle
Now that I know I have made a beginning, I must ensure not to give up on being more active. The temptation is great, as being lethargic had become a way of life. You can rapidly get used to the wrong stuff, and breaking a habit is tough. Motivation comes when you achieve results, and I see positive changes in myself that I intend capitalising on.
“Fitness is like marriage, you can’t cheat on it and expect it to work.” Bonnie Pfiester
One needs to work on relationships as they constantly evolve. I am moving one step ahead and working on myself. It takes resolve, determination and commitment to make lifestyle changes and adopt fitness.
The battle within rages on, but I have a “never say die” attitude. I keep reminding myself,
“You didn’t gain all your weight in one day; you won’t lose it in one day. Be patient with yourself.”
