A Child Does What You Do, Not What You Say — Parenting Guide
Everything you do once you enter the home, you are sending a message to the children
You must have seen that when you rise up to pray, your 2-year-old son approaches you and does the prayer gestures. A two-year-old toddler has no idea what this procedure is. Is it good or bad? What is the point of it? But he stands up to pray with you because he sees you doing it every day, and it is in the nature of children to do what adults do. What parents do at home sends a powerful message to their children.
Parents are children’s first teachers. The child’s mind comes to them in the form of a blank paper and they start writing on it through their actions and words. These are the daily routines that we do unconsciously and pass on to our unconscious, unconsciously. Parents are usually ill-advised to explain to their children and hope that the children will follow their advice, which is not the case. Children look up to adults and imitate them.
Our unconscious daily routines at home are what we unconsciously do and unconsciously pass on to our own unconscious mind.
Some families, particularly joint families, live in a toxic environment. Often in the evening, when everyone gets together, there is tension in the home. Sometimes there are quarrels and very wrong words are exchanged. All of this is being watched by children. Their minds begin to be filled with hatred from this environment. And tomorrow, when these children grow up, they also create an atmosphere in their homes similar to what they have witnessed. If you have this type of environment in your house, protect your children by migrating them as soon as possible so that they do not adopt and pass on these negative attitudes.
This environment is not limited to joint families only, and I also do not criticize the joint family system. Even if the family is separated, the couple may have problems with each other and express themselves in front of their children. When talking over the phone, parents use the wrong words and tone. They may be rude to staff. It is also possible that the child tries to copy the negative surroundings outside the home in which he or she plays. As a parent, it is your responsibility to protect your child from all these negative factors for a positive upbringing.
Identify the parenting habits of yours that you find most helpful.
You’ve probably heard the story about a teacher who spotted a child entering school while chewing jaggery. When he looks again the next day, that child was eating jaggery again. He sees but does not say anything to the child. On the third day, the child enters the school eating jaggery, so the teacher stops him and politely explains that his son should not eat jaggery like that. The child asks in surprise sir, I have been coming to school eating jaggery for two days and you are watching, but you did not forbid it at first. The teacher says son, in those two days I used to come to school after eating jaggery, so I was not in a position to train you.
Everything you do once you enter the home, you are sending a message to the children.
Let's Practice It
If you have a child two years or older, do any activity on daily basis. Make any task your routine but do not ask the child to do it. However, it is important that you do this in front of your child. For example, there are regular daily prayers. You will find that after a few days, your baby will start doing the same activity with you.