A Girl Dreamed to be a Soccer Player
“Tracy, warming up!” The coach called me.
I stood up from the bench, the cold bench in the winter of Melbourne. Our club is playing the State 2 East Women’s Soccer League (it’s a community league), and I have always been a substitute this season.
I quickly warmed up, took off my jumper and the bib that represents the substitute player, then finally got to run to the pitch. As an amateur player who turns over 30 and may retire soon, I treasure every moment on the pitch, and on the bench.
A Childish Dream
I grew up in China. The China men’s national soccer team is never good enough to make us proud. Actually, most of the time we make fun of the men’s team as they were only qualified to FA World Cup once back in 2002. They lost so many games and always disappointed us.
There is a joke saying Chinese soccer fans are the luckiest fans because they have the flexibility to support any team in the world, this includes any clubs and any national teams. The Chinese team just doesn’t worth our love. We can follow Real Marid, Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester United, etc throughout the European season. During the World Cup or Euro Cup, we can choose to support Germany, Brazil, Italy, England and most importantly, we are free to change our team as well… I am a big fan of Arsenal and I used to support France, Spain, now quite like Belgium.
But the China women’s national soccer team (we usually call them steel roses) is another story. When I was in primary school, the golden generation of the steel roses won the runner-up in both Olympic Games in 1996 and the Women’s World Cup in 1999. I still remembered when I was on a school holiday in 1999. I was terribly sick because of pneumonia. One day I stayed in bed to rest and read the story at Youth Newspaper about the China women’s soccer team. It was a moment that I was inspired by these national heroes and I wanted to be one of them when I grew up.
The other thing that motivated me to play soccer was a Japanese Manga, Captian Tsubasa. It tells a story about a talented boy, Tsubasa led his team to win the trophy. Actually, if you have played real soccer games, you will know lots of footage in this Manga that looks very fake and funny. In a real game, we never run in the same direction and did those fancy kicks.
But as a kid, I was totally inspired by the characters, who have a great dream, passionate and determined, work together as a team, deal with the tough games, and win the competition. I wanted to live a life like that. By the way, Captain Tsubasa did have a big impact in Asia and it encourages many Asian kids to start playing soccer, some of them even become professional players.
My primary school has a good tradition of soccer. But until I was in grade 5 (around 11 years old), the coach organized the first girl’s team. We just trained two weeks with the boys' team and then played a 3 vs 3 game called “Coco-Cola Cup” in my hometown, Wuhan. There were only 7 teams in that tournament, and we ended up at 4th position. It’s kind of a good result for the beginners’ team.
Since that summer, I was always daydreaming that I could go further with my soccer dreams:
- I would go to a sports school to learn how to play soccer professionally
- I would become a great striker or winger, score many goals and lead the team to win
- I would be joining the city’s youth team, then the national youth team, and played my first game for the national team before 18 years old
- I would be the youngest player on the national team and playing for Beijing Olympic Game in 2008
- I would win the women’s world cup when I am 26…..
Of course, none of these daydreams happened. I went to normal high school, normal uni, get a degree, get a 9–5 corporate job.
But I did enjoy soccer along with my life journey. I played soccer with friends in China and played for the local women’s soccer club in Australia. Although my childish dream has no chance to come true, I am grateful that I still experience the happiness of playing soccer.
The Stereotype on Sports in China
In China, the sports system is mainly built for elite and professional athelets. Community sports don’t get much attention and support. Usually, if a young kid shows talents in the sport, he or she will be selected to go to a specific sports school that sponsored by the local government.
Then all he or she needs to do is training hard, go to the competition and win glories for the country. They don’t need to worry about the study, degree, make a living or any other hustles. As long as they perform well in the competition, they will be totally taken care of by the coaches, teams and sports officers.
The system definitely works in some ways. China has won many gold medals in Olympics since the 1980s. However, it also causes lots of problems for these players, especially for those who failed in the middle of the process. They spend so much time in sports and don’t have a degree or other skills when they are eliminated or retired. That is also why many Chinese parents don’t want their children to choose this pathway. It’s kind of risky.
The other thing stopped my dream is the cultural stereotype on sports and women’s sports. China has a proverb saying “ Moronic head, well-developed limbs”, which means the people who doing sports simply because they are not good at academics. It sounds ridiculous right ?
As I met so many smart soccer teammates in Australia, who had Ph.D. degrees, who are successful lawyers, teachers, doctors etc. Sports definitely make people more resilient, proactive and collaborative. While when I grew up, most of Chinese parents just don’t think sports is part of education as well.
In Asian culture, in general, women are expected to be elegant, gentle and submissive. Sports, especially the highly intense and competitive sports definitely do not suit for shaping this traditional figure of women.
Therefore, many Chinese parents rather send their daughters to art classes instead of sports clubs. My parents send me to painting and electric piano classes, and when I told them I want to become a soccer player, they just said: “You don’t have any talent in soccer.”
I was angry and disappointed about it of course. Although these stereotypes exist, I really appreciate my P.E teacher in my middle school, who encouraged me to play soccer, even I was the only girl in the soccer class. He set a rule to the boys that if I score, it counted 2 goals. So that the boys could pass the ball to me.
I appreciate the male classmates in middle school didn’t judge me and played soccer with me. A boy in my class always exchanged soccer magazine with me. As teenagers we wouldn’t have much spare money, so we took turns to buy the magazine each month and then exchange to read through it. Now I still have a lot of soccer magazine collections back in 2003–2005. The soccer stars’ experiences in the youth team are my favorite stories to read. I truly admired that they had the chance to do what they love.
Looking back to my soccer daydream, I felt maybe everyone had a sort of heroic dream when they are young. We want to be cool, be different, and want to become somebody. And soccer gave me the reason to have this dream.
When I felt bored at those classes in the sunny afternoon, I was daydreaming that I wouldn’t be in this classroom, I would be playing soccer on the pitch. Now I really wanted to tell that kid: “Yes, you will! Don’t give up your dream. You will play soccer in the sunny afternoon, at night, with great teams, score goals, in Australia.”
Soccer Life in Australia
When I received the offer for my postgraduate study from the University of Melbourne, I searched online about the uni’s sports club. Luckily I saw the women’s soccer club and they welcome everyone from all levels. I was really excited and wrote an email to the club even before I came to Australia. And I attended the training in the first week when I arrived in Australia. After years of just playing soccer socially, I couldn’t wait to play soccer for a formal club, with uniforms, coaches, league, training, club pavilion and home ground.
I was very lucky, I did not just join a “formal” club. Melbourne University Women’s Soccer Club (MUWSC) actually is the biggest women’s soccer club in Victoria State. When I joined, it has 4 teams (from state 1 to state 4), now it has 6 teams in total. I was truly impressed by the women’s involvement in Australia’s community soccer since the first training session. I have never seen so many girls playing soccer before as in China.
Usually in Australia’s community soccer club, there are two training sessions at weekday nights from around 7–9pm and a game on weekends. The soccer season in Melbourne is roughly from April to August.
The Football Federation Australia has always been doing a great job in organizing the community leagues. In general, the league is based on gender, levels, and regions, such as State 2 East Women’s League, State 3 North Men’s League, youth league, etc. There are around 10 teams in each league and we play home & away games with each team.
So it sounds very formal, right? I kind of achieved my childhood dream in some way as I am seriously playing soccer now! This year is my 7th soccer season in Australia, there are lots of unforgettable moments.
I remembered those moments when I scored, especially in front of my mum who visited me from China and watched me playing soccer. She finally believed that I can play good games. I also remembered the first goal I scored for my second Club, Sirens, all players hugged me and congrated me.
I remembered those days I haven’t got a car yet, I finished work around 5:30 pm and took the train to the training ground. I need to change the train line in the city and I had to quickly get changed at the toilet of the train station, then caught another train to the training ground. When the training finished, I usually asked a teammate who lives near my place to drove me home. I really appreciate those teammates who kindly give me a ride.
I remembered those days when I was busy with study and work as I need to work hard to get my permanent residency, I only had Sunday off each week and that day I still go to the pitch and play soccer games. When life is tough, soccer is a vital pillar to motivates me and excites me.
I remembered those funny social events with my clubs, MUWSC and Sirens. As the first generation of immigrants with a culture and language barrier, it is not easy to build social cohesion with the local community. But thanks to soccer, I met so many wonderful people and friends.
Lifelong Love of Soccer
There are up and downs in soccer, just like life. The injuries, bad weather, muddy ground, tough opponent, weird referee, juggling between work/study and soccer, being on the bench, made mistakes on the pitch, lost a game in the last minute etc.. , these are all part of soccer.
One day I was on the bench for the most time of the game, I asked myself: Why I still love this game? Why I waste so many Sundays on soccer? Then all those thoughts came up to my mind:
I love the pace, the rhythm, and the speed of the game;
I love the touch, the passing, the technique, the creativity of the game
I love the team, the vibe, the community
I love the sunny Sunday afternoon when I am so sweaty and drink a cold beer after the game
I love the moment I scored and ran to my mum, the mum who used to tell me I had no talent at soccer
I love singing the songs with the team when we win
I love the feel when we finally get back to the pitch after 3 Covid lockdowns last year
It’s not just a game, it’s an essential part of my life.
Our coaches this season both have Italy background and they pretty much play and coach soccer throughout their entire lives. One night at the training, it was cold, raining, the pitch was really muddy, not many players attended the training, the coach said: “ We don’t care about the mud, we played soccer since we were young kids, we spent every weekend on these muddy pitch. That’s how we grew up and that’s how we live with soccer.” Just a couple of days after that session, Italy won Euro Cup 2020, I believe it was a passion like this that motivates Italian to win this trophy.
I actually thought about retiring from soccer recently. I know that day will come as my body is aging. This season I started coaching and helping with the kid's program for my club, I wish I could keep involving in soccer. And it is really lovely to see the kids are so obsessed with this game, just like that little Chinese girl who dreamed to be a soccer player. I wish to tell them the most important thing is not about the score or competition; it is about enjoying this beautiful sport.
I think that’s it for my soccer story. I need to wrap it up now and get changed and go to my soccer training tonight!
