A good person accidentally killed a child, what should he do ?
If you have been kind all your life, not even killing an ant, but accidentally caused someone’s death, how would you deal with it? Would you be devastated for the rest of your life, or would you pick yourself up and move forward?
Recently, I read an article about Chen in a Buddhist magazine
Before the accident, Chen had been promoting vegetarianism and compassion, which led him to stay up late frequently and be sleep deprived……On the day of the accident, exhaustion caused him to fall asleep while driving, and his car crossed the divider, leading to the accidental death of a 10-year old child.…..
Chen often pondered this while in prison and surrounded by four walls. “At first, I couldn’t forgive myself. It’s not a matter of whether the victim’s family can forgive me – I couldn’t forgive myself.”…..
Having studied the Dharma for many years, he finally realized – rather than seeing himself as a sinner, would that help the deceased child? That was useless. “If that child could have lived till 60, with decades more of life instead of leaving at 10, he may have encountered the Buddhadharma, done much Buddhist work, contributed meaningfully to society. Now that he can’t, can I help fulfill that for him? Whether in his name, or in my mind, I should face society again, start anew, and do more meaningful things – advocating for all beings’ equality, compassion for animals, influencing more to adopt vegetarianism. I feel he should also enjoy the merits of such deeds.”
Finally, he put Permanent Blessings Tablet for the child at a temple and recited Buddhist scriptures, dedicating merits to him to dissolve resentment. “We must have known each other in past lives and had karmic ties to dissolve in this one. How to dissolve them? It’s in your hands – karma cannot be escaped, but how you handle things afterwards, your state of mind in resolving them – that’s your existential issue in this life that no one can decide for you.”
“Only now do I realize even a tiny mistake can lead to the loss of a life. So overstepping boundaries inevitably causes problems, regardless of good or bad intent.”His words gave much food for thought. When taken to extremes, even good intentions backfire. The rationale is clear to all, yet under the sway of the three poisons, you believe you are helping others, not realizing it is greed at work – greed for the sense of virtue and satisfaction from ‘selflessly’ helping others. Eventually, the initial benevolence becomes distorted self-gratification in unforeseen ways.
“I will continue promoting vegetarianism, but set boundaries I can manage – foremost that I have the mental focus to do so skillfully, not grasp at virtue. Otherwise it is just clinging to goodness. I will cultivate wise goodness – doing good with wisdom – being moderate, gradual, and mindful.”
This article left me heavy-hearted. Chen is a devoted Buddhist who actively promote vegetarian diet. But he accidentally killed a child. Perhaps, as he suggested, there were karmic ties between them that resulted in this tragedy.
The Arrow Parable of Buddhism
- “It is as if a man were wounded by an arrow thickly smeared with poison. His friends and relatives would provide him with a surgeon. The man would say: ‘I will not have this arrow removed until I learn the details of the person who wounded me. I need to know the name of the man who wounded me, the family from which he comes, whether he is tall or short.Before learning all these details, the man would die.”
This parable criticizes those who insist on irrelevant details rather than focusing on the problem of suffering itself.
Honestly, no one know for sure the relationship between Chen and the child in their past lives. May be if Chen know that the “child” had killed him in the past live that lead to this “accident” in this life, he will feel better.
But it is impossible to fully understand all the karmic factors that contribute to a particular situation, and it is more productive to focus on addressing the present circumstances and finding ways to heal and move forward
Chen have put a Permanent Blessings Tablet (usually a wooden block, with name carved on it) of the child in a temple and recited Buddhist scriptures, dedicating merits to him to dissolve resentment. He also passes all the merits of his good deeds to the child.
Buddhist believes that it will help the child to have a happier life in the next life.
Chen continue to promote vegetarian diet and by doing so, extending the compassion to all sentient beings
He shares with us his bitter experience to remind us that one should doing good deeds with wisdom and one should not cling on the sense of virtue.
It reminds me of the “formless giving” of Diamond Sutra
“Giving without attachment to forms” is an important concept presented in the Diamond Sutra. Its essential meaning is that when giving, one should not cling to the “giver”, “receiver”, and “gift”, but instead attain a state of emptiness of the three.
Giver : The giver should not cling to the notion of “self”, not crave for reputation or rewards.
Receiver : The giver should not cling to the notion of “someone” is receiving his gifts.
Gift : The giver should not cling to the “gift” he gives, say think that I give him $1000, and $1000 is a large amount of money.
Through giving without attachment to forms, one can eliminate mental obstacles like greed, anger, and ignorance, attain detachment and liberation.
This reflects the Buddhist concept of “emptiness”– all things are dependently originated and empty of inherent nature. It also embodies the spirit of no-self. Giving without attachment to forms allows one to profoundly realize the deeper meaning of “all forms are illusory”.
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