A psychologist’s view: Why you mustn’t chase in relationships
This behaviour is deeper than you think
In my clinic I see people chase all sorts of things. They chase the next big business venture, the next drug high, the big win, the next great relationship… and on it goes. Chasing has been associated with a need for dopamine. But as research has suggested, the more we chase the more we want! Since there is no saturation point, you will at some point find yourself chasing for the sake of the high provided by the chasing itself.
When chasing happens in a relationship, it is rarely a sign that you are part of a balanced and mutually satisfying relationship. Rather, it tends to be symptomatic of imbalance, mixed messages and more often than not- at least one person who is failing to see their own worth. In this brief article, I am hoping to help I can persuade a few such people to take control of their behaviour and channel their energy into relationships where there is no need for chasing. These are relationships that will nourish you and be reflective of your emotional investment.
Some similarities to the field of addiction
In my clinical area of expertise, gambling addiction, the phenomenon of chasing is everpresent and highly destructive. A gambler will enjoy the anticipation and buildup of the…
