After middle age, changing your temper is like changing your life.
The worse the temper, the worse the fate.
1
Once upon a time, there was a story like this.
A little lamb was walking in the forest when it accidentally got pricked by a rose thorn. The lamb, instantly furious, lifted its foot and kicked fiercely at the rose, only to end up with its leg bleeding profusely from the thorns.
So, the lamb limped away, wounded.
Yet, the scent of blood on the lamb’s body attracted a wolf…
In reality, aren’t we often like this lamb when faced with adversity and harm?
Especially as we grow older, the pressures of work and life hit us hard, leaving us in a state of anxious tension where we inevitably encounter various conflicts.
If we behave like this lamb, allowing our bad temper to run wild, we will only bring disaster upon ourselves.
Zhang Xiaoxian once said, “Things go wrong because you still have a temper. Having a temper not only brings suffering to others but also to yourself.”
Blindly venting your emotions and acting impulsively not only fails to solve problems but also exacerbates conflicts and intensifies contradictions.
Over time, emotions spread through your life like vines, leaving your existence fraught with hardships and thorns.
In middle age, your destiny rises and falls, already bound up with your temper.
2
Psychologist Professor Davis once conducted a follow-up survey on nearly 1000 people.
He investigated and analyzed their respective temperaments, as well as their work situations and quality of life.
Finally, through statistical analysis, Davis concluded that a person with a bad temper, who frequently gets angry and loses their temper, often tends to lead to family failures, poor careers, or turning good things into a mess.
In other words, people with worse tempers often have worse outcomes; even if they are dealt a good hand, they will still play it poorly.
Writer Clifford once recounted a real-life case. Gena, 36, was a supervisor at a California company.
Once, he encountered a major client, and if he successfully negotiated this deal, he could get a promotion and a raise.
To secure the project, he worked on the proposal day and night. Little did he know, after revising the proposal more than a dozen times, the other party was still not satisfied.
Finally, after one proposal fell through, Gena directly shouted at the other party: “Your demands are too high, I can’t accommodate them.”
Due to his impulsiveness, this cooperation fell through directly.
Not only did Gena lose his performance bonus, but the promotion he had within reach was also completely out of the question.
Media person Luke said a bad temper is the harbinger of a tragic life.
The uncontrollable anger within you is like a powerful hand pushing you step by step into the abyss.
People with volatile tempers are like walking powder kegs. If things don’t go their way, they will ignite their anger and destroy everything.
When you control your emotions, you can become the master of your life, firmly holding your destiny in your own hands.
3
Former US President Lincoln came from humble beginnings; his father was a shoemaker.
During one campaign speech, a senator contemptuously mocked him in public, saying, “Mr. Lincoln, I hope you remember that you are the son of a shoemaker.”
The audience fell silent, expecting Lincoln to erupt in anger.
However, Lincoln remained calm and responded with a smile, “I will always be the son of a shoemaker, and I know that if I were to be president, I would never be as good as my father at making shoes.”
As soon as he finished speaking, thunderous applause erupted from the audience.
It was this gentle temperament that allowed Lincoln to navigate the political arena with ease, ultimately leading him to the presidency.
As Wang Yangming said, a narrow mind is the root of calamity, while an open mind is the door to fortune.
Indulging in bad temper is like digging a pit for oneself; whereas those with good temperaments are often more favored by destiny.
After middle age, changing your temperament is akin to changing your fate.
Life for middle-aged individuals is a constant encounter with both the divine and the demonic.
The more irritable you are, the more likely you are to lead to a disastrous outcome; controlling your temper gives you the chance to turn the tide against adversity.
When emotions run high, learn to restrain yourself and cool your head.
By getting rid of a bad temper and maintaining a peaceful mindset, you can gracefully handle life’s myriad challenges and give your life a new outlook.
4
The Book of Proverbs says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
Having a temper is natural, but mastering it is a skill.
Here are three small methods to help you control your temper and embrace a better life:
1. Follow the Twelve-Second Rule
Research suggests that when we’re angry, the feeling typically only lasts about twelve seconds.
If you can endure those twelve seconds, your emotions will subside.
Whenever you feel the urge to react impulsively, consciously remind yourself to count silently to twelve.
With this brief moment of calmness, your agitated feelings will gradually settle, and your temper will dissipate.
2. Master the ABCs of Emotions
The ABCs of Emotions are often referred to as the universal key to emotional management.
Simply put, your temper isn’t directly caused by an event but rather by your perception of it.
When you detach yourself from the situation and view it from a different perspective, you’ll often find that many situations have positive aspects.
As long as you don’t exaggerate the consequences, you can avoid triggering intense emotions.
3. Maintain Emotional Bluntness
As TV host He Jiong once said, “You need to learn a term called ‘emotional bluntness.’ You need to be less sensitive about many things, be a bit duller, and slower.”
The majority of anger and frustration in life often stems from being overly sensitive.
Learn to maintain emotional bluntness, don’t take things too much to heart, and you won’t easily get angry due to external stimuli.
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Public speaker Anthony Robbins once said, “The secret of an outstanding life lies in knowing how to control the force of emotions, rather than being controlled by it.”
In the adult world, a bad temper is like a wild horse.
If we can’t tame it, our lives may run wild at any moment and plunge into the abyss.
Knowing how to restrain oneself, replacing temper with amiability, is essential to stabilizing the course of life and managing it well.
After middle age, it’s crucial to maintain three parts calmness and seven parts sobriety, less impulsiveness, and more rationality.
By giving up bad tempers and avoiding unnecessary disputes and conflicts, you can achieve the life you desire. Please give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends along the way.
