Racism
Am I a Racist?
I am half Dutch and I am half Indonesian.
Am I a racist myself? That is the question I am asking myself.
I don’t know the answer. Yet. Soon I will, I hope.
I don’t understand racism. In what way don’t I understand racism, then? Well, I don't know, either. I really don’t know. I really don’t know what racism means for black people. I really don’t know what racism means if you’re excluded in participating what you want.
Yes, I have been bullied but does that count my bullies are racist towards me because they already knew and they were aware that I was ‘different’ — besides playing the violin?
I knew then that I am a half Indonesian and half Dutch woman, but as a kid, I wasn’t aware of differences, what it meant. To me, it was just a fact that I was half Dutch and half Indonesian. I knew it and I saw people were not really the same color, but I am not black. I am more white?! But I really don't know how to explain it.
I don’t know why they bullied me. They told me I had lice, which was not true! But maybe there is another explanation? I don’t know. It is guessing…