Apathy: My Breakthrough Take On The Feeling of Not Feeling At All

Joe Gibson, Above The Middle
ILLUMINATION
Published in
5 min readJun 4, 2024

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Photograph by Stephan Seeber on Pexels

As I’ve become more aware of my habits and moods, I’ve noticed how my mornings are often filled with excitement and motivation though soon turn to feelings of apathy come the early afternoon.

It happened yesterday. I came into work plucky and ready for the weekend but by the afternoon was staring at my computer with a feeling of if the world was going to end, I think I’d stand back and watch without a care.

That’s what apathy feels like to me. It’s as if your ability to feel emotions has gone, like a chef who’s lost his ability to taste. Even feelings of sadness, guilt, and shame feel out of reach, though sadness often comes as a by-product of a continued apathetic state, I’ve found.

On a physiological level, this numbed emotional state also comes with a lack of desire to act as I struggle to do even the most simple of tasks. Some days I’ll lie on my bed and listen to music because it feels like the only thing I can do which doesn’t require extended effort. I lose interest in watching TV shows, playing video games, socialising, and doing just about anything that requires some sort of action.

In it’s stead, I’ll often resort to early nights simply because sleep feels like a better option than the inner frustration of knowing you should be feeling more…

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Joe Gibson, Above The Middle
ILLUMINATION

Your path to authentic love and secure relationships starts here. Above The Middle, a blog by me, Joe Gibson.