Are You a Shopaholic? What To Do About It?
Hey, do not fret. Frugality is an acquired skill.
I often find myself lost in the glittery jungle of a mall. I like the glitz and the feel of the place. The soft music, the lights, and the surrounding vibe become the perfect reasons for me to be happy about life and translates quickly into bags, heavy on my arms. But I carry that weight more with pride than a complaint, as I give in to the ultimate truth of the era.
The world today is burdened with materialistic influx.
With springy legs, you feel the bounce in you, as your body slightly grooves to the soothing music, imbibing all the festive energy. You feel you have achieved something in life because you can acquire whatever you desire.
I was a big believer in retail therapy.
My mother came down for holidays and, as usual, was not happy to see the state of affairs of my wardrobe. Mother, she being she, started arranging my closet and segregating things. I was not looking her in the eye as she kept showing me a pile of clothes with their tags still intact!! To make matters worse, there were bills inside the cloth, hence, discrediting my argument that those were recent purchases.
My parents have been big-time givers. Helping others wasn’t considered an expenditure. Our birthdays were also celebrated in orphanages.
They have been quite frugal and we have been denied a lot of things in our growing period, claiming as unnecessary. Things were purchased based on needs, not wants. So, maybe that inherent urge to splurge had to come out and resulted in me being the way I was.
So, that day I was ashamed of my accumulated wastage. And, with my guilt ruffled to the right quantity, I sat back and gave it a lot of thinking, and made up my mind to act on it. I flippantly admitted to being a mild case of a shopaholic.
So, I challenged myself and set on the path of frugality.
Do I Really Have It?
Before I start addressing the issue, I had to access the same.
I pick the item first and find the use later. Trust me, I can find a long list of uses. “I can gift this to my friend-her birthday is near.” “ I can wear this to the party.” “ Will look good with my black denim.” “ Can be handy for gifting immediately on the occasion of a forgotten birthday.”
My actual bill is much more than my home list. I am a meticulous person, you see. Hence, I have a complete list of things I want to buy. And as I Igo picking things, I end up much more than I initially intended.
I rationalize every purchase. This is a new brand, I should try it. Might be better than the one I am using. I should promote new start-ups, if I don’t buy who will.
I loved gifting because it is an unrefutable reason to shop! Remembering and gifting people you love is a healthy way to nourish the relationship. I am always looking for something for someone.
I loved the word SALE!! Good stuff at a discounted price. What else can you ask for? That’s prudence, silly!
Especially after a fight or bad mood…Have to do it…I deserve it.
Or to celebrate something. Come on! I am in such a great mood!
So, you see, I can go on. Told ya, I was good at giving reasons and making lists. So, now the jury is out —
YOU HAVE IT!
What Was The Real Cost?
The habit of consistently playing the part of a purchaser had its own toll on me.
Time. I was wasting a lot of time. Most of the time I was either in the mall or shopping online. Even for gifts at my office, I was the designated person to choose and pick the same. A gift aficionado of sorts. I also take pride in the fact that I get the best stuff at the best price. Now that takes an immense amount of research. Read time. I found myself selecting gifts for others. Things were being outsourced. Cost — time.
Money. No doubt about it. My card statements always exceeded my calculations. Savings were always postponed to the next month, like an elusive mirage. The guilt of not saving enough did build, only to be washed away with the euphoria of fresh money.
Energy. Though I jumped for it, the whole process of purchasing brought its share of exhaustion. Physical and mental, both.
What Did I Do About It?
Once, I had found my pain points, I had a clear warpath. I was going to attack from all fronts.
I started leaving my card behind and carried just enough cash for few days. Carrying the credit card always gave a pseudo-confirmation of the availability of funds, enhancing the urge to purchase something. Leaving behind that assurance makes the mind more aware of limited money.
I made weekend plans that did not involve a mall. It was a park or amusement activity or a casual hanging out at a friend’s place or even a run with great music. After a couple of weeks, I looked forward to these times rather than catching the first bus to the nearest mall.
Putting a number to the solution. I maintained an excel sheet of savings. Things I almost bought but did not go into that list as savings. ( I have cheated myself a couple of times when I manipulate the figure by picking something only to keep them back at the counter and count it as savings!). And pat me.
Going online more than offline. New sauce. Should try this. But the bottle never sees the light of day, and the day comes, it is way past the expiry date, and throwing it away just gives the satisfaction of a little less clutter in my kitchen cabinet.
I started ordering online. That way I did not pick things besides my intended things. Saved a huge amount of time in the logistics of going out and buying things.
I visit relatives and friends and buy on my way to their house. Two things happen. One, I save on a trip to buy gifts. Two, my mind is more wired to arriving at the destination and hence I do not overthink about what to buy.
Started villainizing the brands. “They are looters who want my money.” “It is my loss and their gain.” “ Obviously, they have wonderful things to say about the product-they want your money.”
These are some things I say to myself when I am tempted towards buying something. I act as if sellers are people who want to lure me into giving away my hard-earned money. Does the trick many times.
T+2+2 rule. I didn’t buy things immediately. I would put them in the cart and leave them for two days. If I still felt the need to have them, I would leave them for another two days. And only after that tenure I would go ahead and buy them. Else delete it from the cart.
What I realized is that I developed a habit to rationalize my purchases. The reflex purchases were reduced drastically.
Started giving. I think this is the most important key to my change. Every time I shop for myself on Amazon, I go to the donate section and make a small donation. A small gesture like that means a lot to someone out there. And trust me, when I tend to splurge, a small voice in the back of my mind reminds me that this money can do a lot somewhere else. (My parents are really happy about this.)
As I Say Adieu
As I have made the conscious effort to declutter my life with respect to materialistic things, I have also sensed a certain change towards viewing life altogether; like appreciating small things and finding more value in all that I already have. Sounds farfetched, I know, but there does exist a connection.
Now that I am prudent about money matters, I realize that the lesser I have, the lesser I need to clean, the lesser I need to organize, the lesser energy I need to spend; effectively translating to more money, more space, more time, and more energy.
I am adding a new dimension to my life as I soak in the new rule.
Less is more.
