Are You A “Yes, And” Or A “Yes, But” Type Of Person?
PSSST There’s A Third Option!
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Let’s define what I mean.
In a conversation, how do you respond to someone’s share?
Do you respond with “oh yeah, me too, and then…”, “yes, I totally relate, and what about when X happens?” This is a “yes, and” type of person.
Or do you respond with a “but have you thought about this?”, “sure, but not in this case.” This is what I mean by a “yes, but” type of person.
In both cases, you seem to be agreeing with the person. Which is why I’m including the “Yes” in both descriptions.
I do think it’s a good start to connecting with someone, to add the “yes”. It’s a way of quickly saying you know where they are coming from.
But let’s go further.
A “yes, and” response makes you feel like you are agreeing with the person.
And the “yes, but” response feels a little less supportive.
I’d challenge that both are having the same effect.
