Life Lessons
Are You Being True to Your Own Self? 5 Ways To Make It So
The odds are you aren’t. Odds are you can be.
To be, or not to be (true to thy own self), that is the question –
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of other people’s outrageous expectations,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
and by opposing, truly end not being true to thy own self.
–Writer’s reapplication of Shakespeare’s Hamlet
We are bombarded with expectations and influences.
The way we should be, look, achieve, act, acquire, and live.
Our parents, society, media, friends, and employers assert their standards and expectations on us.
It’s an overwhelming gauntlet we’ve run since childhood.
Be this. Don’t be that. Success is this. Failure is that.
This is how you will be measured.
“To thy own self be true”?
Are you kidding me, Mr Shakespeare?
However…
Your true self may be trying to help you overcome being untrue to your true self.
You can notice it, embrace it, and act on it.
It can be hard to spot it. But it’s there if you look for it.
You’ve been living with it for so long that you’ve gotten used to it.
It’s like background noise.
Things such as:
- You don’t like, hate, or are unfulfilled by your job or career.
- You are wrapped up in chasing the “dream” of possessions which either leaves you forever wanting and frustrated or in financial trouble.
- You desperately seek to improve or maintain your physical appearance based on the standards society sets and what marketers say you must be.
- You simply feel stuck, dissatisfied, and out of alignment with your true self…
- …and all too many more examples.
Now what? THAT is the question
We all hit a point in life when we ask the question, “Now what?”.
Sometimes it’s through self-awareness. Everything catches up to us and we think there’s got to be something more and better.
Or it’s a crisis.
We lose a job, a relationship, or someone close to us.
We fail or we flail at a life unfulfilled.
These times of awareness and crisis lead to the opportunity via the question “Now What?”.
It’s time to answer it.
You need a realignment to be true to thy own self
I constantly hear “Now What?” asked by people 40 years old and above.
For Kim and me it started when our youngest son was a senior in high school.
We knew both boys would go to college and would move on away and on with their lives.
I pondered what I was going to do with the rest of my life since I knew I would never “retire”.
After leaving television news I have been a content creator for major corporations. The shelf life of that was ending.
I also realized that while I got to do some amazing things, work with amazing people (even clients!), and provide for my family, the choice was not really true for me.
I had pursued it because I could, not necessarily because I should.
Read: Jeff Goldblum Told Us How to Avoid Making a Huge Life Mistake
As a stay-at-home mom, Kim was losing her “career”.
Every day we looked at each other and asked, “Now What?”.
Finding THE answer
ONE: I went deep, basic, and simple.
I put the time and energy into thinking, “how do I want to feel and be every morning when I wake up?”
A. I wake up (Yeah, I didn’t die in my sleep).
B. I felt great and I’m in prime health and condition.
C. I am excited about the day ahead.
D. I am passionate about what I am doing and living with a purpose.
E. I am making a difference in some way.
F. I am not worried about money.
G. I am being true to my true self.
Note this was all about me and within me. What I can control.
Yes, I want the love of my family and I want them to be doing great among other things.
But this is about being true to oneself so it’s only about oneself.
TWO: I examined my beliefs.
I knew I had self-limiting beliefs.
Ones that were old or outright untrue about me and about the world around me.
We all do. I figure almost every human that ever walked the earth died with false beliefs that hold them back.
Beliefs that often come from childhood, parents, or negative experiences that may or may not have been true then and certainly aren’t now.
Therefore, they need to be replaced.
Many people can instantly identify these beliefs and where they came from.
I knew what they were, but it took a lot of work to identify and overcome them.
I’m still working on them but getting past them.
Doing this is as important as anything else to be true to yourself.
Look at it this way.
Beliefs drive emotions > Emotions drive decisions > Decisions drive actions and therefore add up to exactly where you are in life and who are being right now.
All too often that doesn’t add up to being your true self.
THREE: Write a thank you note to your current self from your 95-year-old self.
I wrote a Medium article about this. It works beautifully, and I have rewritten my letter several times.
I think of myself being that age and thanking myself at my current age for the things I did to create the amazing life that I am still enjoying at age 95 (Unfortunately, putting in stock tips won’t work).
I’m not specific about how I did it all. Instead, I focus on the results and the why.
Four: Putting my attention to it
By this point, I had a great foundation and started searching for all kinds of information.
I made an effort and scheduled times to think it through. Dedicated quiet time to think.
Then, like magic, I was thinking about it all the time without even trying.
Where attention goes focus flows.
I started hearing and noticing how others were transforming their lives and selves that, while not specifically related to me, still gave me insight, ideas, and confidence.
I also started having a slew of seemingly random and unexpected thoughts. My brain was like a popcorn machine with kernels of ideas and insights popping up.
I would meditate or just be quiet with no electronics and think about it. I would have a conversation with myself.
I made amazing progress.
I was excited and I still am.
Five: Be open and ready for anything
Now I was open to anything aligned with these self-realizations.
Good thing, because the end result was unexpected.
The breakthrough came from my research of what people were doing with their retirement years.
I discovered that many retired and regretted it (loss of purpose and relevance) while others out of necessity or desire were reinventing and reimaging this “older” phase of life.
It’s that we can have not only an extended lifespan but most importantly extended health span.
Which begs the question: What are we going to do with it?
What will we do with this life gift that comes at a time when we have decades of experience, knowledge, and advanced skills and talents?
It’s a transformational time for humanity.
But virtually no one is aware of it.
Bingo.
I found my true self’s calling.
I am a born third-generation storyteller and journalist. A content creator and former newsman.
Like my father and grandfather, I have a deep and strong desire to make people aware of really important things.
The most exhilarating thing is to tell an under-told story that everyone needs to know about.
This would be my new way forward. In fact, it is New Way Forward.
My true self-focus is informing and guiding people through the process to pivot, transition, and transform themselves. To make them aware of the new reality.
To support them to live a life that is true to themselves and make an impact by doing so on others.
It works
The pandemic has been a great accelerator.
The desire to transform one’s life has become a mega social trend. People ranging from 30 years old to 80+ have decided that they want more from their life and from themselves.
The desire to be true to oneself and make the most out of life.
Join the revolution
Like me, you can put in the effort, overcome external expectations and false beliefs and be true to who you really are and, therefore have the life and be the way that is right for you and only you.
Only you can discover and know what that is.
To thy own self be true?
Yes. Somewhere in the future, my 95-year-old self is smiling.
Because right now I am truly living it.
Looking for a New Way Forward in your life? You can get my free “Launch Yourself Get Started Guide” by going to www.NewWayFWD.com.
