Are you crying while answering emails?
Some tips to make you smile so hard that your boss won’t like it.
I have been there many times. In many ways, I am still there.
Only one thing has changed.
Instead of crying daily, I now probably cry monthly or as a win, even quarterly.
I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it is up to you. You can change it too.
Remember, no one is cutting any slack for the number of emails responded to. Someone answering 1 a day is happy as a clown and someone who inboxes 0 is wiping the tears with the back of their hands.
You feel destroyed by having responded to all or guilty by having not responded to all. There is sometimes no way in between.
The usual articles tell you to let your manager know that you are overworked and help prioritise. In my work lifetime, no manager has stepped in to shield me from any incoming asks — either they had to maintain their own relationships or that task was extremely crucial to show impact at my level or to level up. What a joke!
But I will share what I learnt and tried to help reclaim your time, reduce stress, and even put a smile on your face — something your boss might not appreciate.
1. Check less emails
The average person checks their email every 37 minutes (yes, Harvard study). These quick peeks often turn into an hour of pointless banter and endless scrolling, or worse, a search for perfect responses from ChatGPT.
Imagine cutting that down to just once or twice a day — and for almost all jobs, unless life saving, this is just fine.
Trust me, the world will not crumble down. And there will be less back and forth if you take time to respond.
2. Ignore your emails. Literally.
Any email that’s an FYI — the key point is noted down and the email is marked read.
Any email where I am cc’d is marked read w/o opening.
Any email addressed to me is kept for later when I have time to sort the mess through.
Be ruthless. There are no brownie points in knowing how many shits did Peter do today unless he is directly telling you.
3. Obviously. Put calendar blocks.
Block it inside out: Less time on your calendar means fewer people expect you to respond then.
Block time for ‘personal work’: Most companies want us to read/ upskill at our hours while office hours are meant to ‘work’. Don’t be a doofus. Upskill on that work in their time, read newsletters in that time, meet and network in that time. If possible, cry too during working hours only, if it's about work. Not another second wasted.
Work to be done, knowledge to be gained (reserved for newsletter, trainings, etc). Use the search functionality to get all the emails needed when you have blocked time on the topic.
4. Write concise assertive emails.
You will receive the same. Instead of another email to clarify what they are saying and another call to clarify that email. Then another email to mark the minutes of the call. Then a follow up call, then a follow up email.
Break the pattern. Break the wheel.
Instead of: Dear John, As we had chatted last time, hope you can please, I request if you can, will be grateful and will die if you don’t respond.
Try: Dear John, I am still waiting on that report we discussed on 24th July. I need it to kick off the related work.
5. Be wary of manager messages. Play smart.
Managers are not the ones that we should be meeting on a power trip. Respond to them first when you open the flurry of emails.
Let your manager know you are overworked. Even if they give a rat’s ass. Tell them time and again that look this is my bandwidth — already at 2x and this task will mean I extend it by 2.5x. I need support.
Tell them in 1:1 and then follow up in writing.
6. Be adamant when saying a NO
NO is never met with an OK. The responses to a NO are mostly “Buts”, many “Only Ifs”, some “Please” and very few “So, when can you”.
It takes time for people to accept boundaries. But that should not dissuade you from creating them.
If a task is important, just if, a micro yes should suffice.
As psychology states, When behaviors are reinforced, they increase. When you ignore them, you might see an “extinction burst” — a short-term rise in the problematic behaviors — but then they will stop.
7. Use chats & calls sparingly
Most people will not write to you as framing an email takes more time and is more “official” compared to favours asked over pings.
All the ‘can you tell me where to find this’, ‘can you let me know what the manager said in the last meeting’, ‘why did you not smile when you saw me’, ‘are you trying to upstage me when you asked me a question in the meeting’ kinda discussions would not waste your time.
8. Set expectations vehemently and early
Missing a major ask or not responding because they ping you every day at 2 pm in your lunch time should be addressed sooner rather than later.
While you should be respectful, you need not be submissive. Don’t over-apologize.
YOU ARE NOT SORRY FOR HAVING LUNCH.
9. Schedule email/ message
Be very wary of responding within 24 hrs, even if the work is done.
You are setting expectations not only for yourself but also for others in the team if you over respond / respond over non-working and OOO hours.
Do yourself and your colleagues (who might not have a spine) a favour.
10. Shut the laptop, literally
When the emails are getting overwhelming, never respond to them.
Sometimes when you can just write a line you might be writing a paragraph of misery and then start the loop of never-ending pings, calls, and email replies.
Take your time and only respond when you are in sound mind/ can bake a thoughtful response.
11. Above all, Be fearless
Nothing horrible will happen if you don’t respond to emails. Trust me on this. People are not demoted or fired if they don't respond to emails quickly.
Only, unfortunately, only 2% of the entire company’s workforce works on tasks that are crucial by the seconds. And if you are in that job — you know it. No one emails during an emergency anyway.
Get over yourself.
No one, I remind you, no one is looking for an immediate reply. In fact no one replies to us immediately when we need them to.
Nothing is very crucial and even if it is, it cannot be for three or more times in a row.
People need to sort their behavior as well.
