ILLUMINATION
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ILLUMINATION

Are you ‘Tinder Trash’?

Be careful what online dating app you use!

By Jo Lucas

Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash

So, a few months back, refreshed and full of optimism, I loaded up (the apps not the SSB wine!) and started furiously swiping on my continuing mission to find myself a decent guy! I’d had a bit of time away from the dating scene, and feeling very cocky and daring I thought I’d mix it up a little, play a little online Russian Roulette if you will, and I settled on Hinge — I’m literally a dating app connoisseur who fell out with Tinder big time a few months ago.

Back in April, on a rainy Saturday afternoon, I matched with a nice guy who told me he was relatively new to online dating. He was very good looking and I could already feel the sparks fly as we chatted. We had heaps in common and spent an entire afternoon quick-firing messages to each other. We found out about each other’s lives, interests, hobbies, and things were starting to click … until the inevitable question came up from him — “So, Jo — what are you looking for on here?”

Q: “So, Jo — what are you looking for on here?” ….

A: ….. “Chris Hemsworth — have you seen him?”

I usually reply with ‘Chris Hemsworth — have you seen him?’ but some men don’t seem to find my native northern-English sarcastic tones that attractive, especially in Australia … so I restrained myself on this occasion and answered truthfully:

“I want to meet a decent guy to go on nice dates with, to get to know slowly — with the prospect of it becoming more in the future”

There my ‘grown up’ reply sans sarcasm that I save for serious situations like this had been activated … I pressed send and it went up and out in the cyber universe to be delivered to his phone … and I eagerly waited for his response.

The little dots started flashing up on the screen … he was typing … excited I waited for this reply. Bing! There it was he had responded, but definitely not with a response that I was prepared for! He told me that he was really sorry he couldn’t continue with this conversation with me as his Tinder profile was only for his ‘casual hookups and NSA fun’ and that his actual ‘relationship profile’ was on Hinge, WTAF?

When I asked for clarification on what he actually meant, he elaborated, even though I was pretty much what he was looking for and if he had matched with me on Hinge, had the exact same conversation as we had just spent the last 4 hours having, then he would have viewed me as a potential candidate for a relationship, but, and this is a big but …. seeing as he’d actually found me on Tinder then that was now out of the question for him. I had literally been downgrading to nothing more than ‘Tinder Trash’ or a ‘ quick hook up’ potential candidate in his eyes!

does the dating app you choose define your relationship eligibility or affect the chances of a potential relationship?

Now, I might be a little bit underdeveloped or emotional in this area, but I still can’t see the mentality of his theory? When I pushed him further and asked him why it actually mattered what site he’d met me on — he was adamant that, although he really liked me and we had a lot in common — it really was a big thing for him — and he didn’t want to have a relationship with someone he’d met on Tinder as I’d always be Tinder Trash in his eyes and he didn’t want the stigma of telling people that’s where we had met! He promptly deleted and ghosted me!

I sat for a few minutes in the blank space where his profile photo and messages had been just a few minutes ago, held my phone, and actually shook my head and cried! It really made me think does the dating app you choose define your relationship eligibility or affect the chances of a potential relationship?

Later that evening, out of sheer curiosity and with my resilient nature kicking in, I downloaded Hinge. At first glance, the quality of men actually did look superior to the ones I’d seen on Tinder. The men were definitely better looking and there was a feature where you could actually hear the voice of your potential match — nothing sexier than hearing the deep voice of a potential male — so far so good …. I liked a few photos and sent a few messages … and waited ….

Next morning, nothing, no matches — nothing! So now being totally paranoid that I was in fact ‘Tinder Trash’ — whatever that is! I panicked … just at that moment someone liked one of my profile photos … I smiled and was introduced to “Greg” … now his story is for another time— but it’s definitely the reason why two days later I deleted Hinge.

Hinge may be for ‘relationships’ but my introduction to this dating app and ‘Greg’ could have possibly put me off online dating forever if it wasn’t for my uncanny sense to pick out a scam when I see one and, on this occasion, I was in the mood for a bit of fun and to ‘play along with a catfish’ so I poured myself a large glass of SSB and ‘played with Greg’ for the best part of two days ….

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