Australia Is the Best Place in the World to Live (If You like the Good Life)

And one thing you’re going to hate that you don’t know about.

Image of me with a Koala in my friend’s backyard

Americans think I’m the close cousin of Crocodile Dundee.

They imagine me walking around in a pair of budgie smuggler swimmers that leave nothing to the imagination when it comes to the male anatomy. They expect me to walk outside and come face-to-face with a Kangaroo or a Koala bear. Some of that is true.

But most daily life in Australia is nothing like that. Let me show you.

Kangaroos on the footpath on the way to lunch

My startup office back in 2010 was on a new estate. Like much of the land in Australia, animals lived on it before the bulldozers came in and took their homes. On the first week at the new office, I went to buy a salad sandwich.

I walked down a long concrete path in the hot Australian sun. Out of nowhere, I see two large kangaroos and a few of their joeys. They’re crossing the road. I don’t get too close because most Aussies know that Kangaroos will kick the crap out of you if you dare get close to them.

(Kangaroo Street Fight) Image Credit–Danielle Brennan/Today

I watch from a distance as the kangaroos try to go about their life. All their surroundings except for a tiny kid’s playground have been taken. They have to cross busy roads to survive.

They eventually flee the scene by hopping away.

I walk to the end of the path where two vacant blocks of real estate are. All of a sudden out of nowhere a kangaroo comes running towards me. I bolt in the other direction and manage to get out of their alive.

Further up the street is a popular shopping center. Kangaroos lurk there too. They’re waiting for a dumb human to come up and try and pat them. No one dares. For the year or so I worked there I played dodge-a-kangaroo.

You might be wondering why they weren’t relocated. They can’t be. Once they’re taken away from their natural home they die. So they’re left in the human habitat to get hit by…