Communication|Society|Self-Improvement
Being Loud Doesn’t Make You Right
Intimidation over good communication is never the way to go.
Many lose an argument, not necessarily because they are in the wrong. Some lose simply by intimidation.
“Yelling or raising our voice can be a method used to control the situation and dominate another person. We get loud to force the other person into submission and listen to what we have to say. “ — Aaron Karmin, Psych Central.
Throughout human history, the use of force has been a way of life. Everybody wants to win the battle more so than being right. Whether be it on war or even down to the tiniest of conversations.
But what if we choose to hear each other out? Seek the common goal of determining what’s really good. Wouldn’t we have a better world?
Of course, I’m well aware it’s too good to be true to get all of humanity on the same page.
But what if we try to start it within ourselves? With our families and friends. We could be paving a way to lead the next generation by showing them what a fine conversation looks like and what it brings about.
Here are some pointers as we seek wholesome talks rather than trying to dominate every single discussion.
Breathe and calm down
We all experienced being agitated in a conversation. Maybe it’s the mood we’re in. Maybe it’s the person we’re talking to. Or whatever the case may be, the point is we’re all guilty of being annoyed and settling with anger rather than talking calmly.
Probably the best thing to do when you’re not in the best shape to talk is to calm down. Your thought process is altered when you’re mad. Hence you are inclined to speak in hate, and it blocks you from determining what is really right.
If it needs time to get you settled, then take whatever time necessary. Rather than inflicting pain carelessly, you get to gather your thoughts first and deliver what you have to say in the best way possible.
Be aware of your tone
Often, our speaking tone delivers much more meaning to the message than the actual words we utter. I get that you are born with that kind of voice, but not everybody is born to hear over your tone and get what you really mean.
It takes a few tweaks, or maybe more, on how you would convey your message. It could be a challenge, probably. But you spare yourself from far more dilemmas a misinterpreted talk could cause.
Seek healthy conversations
Great exchange of thoughts is one of the most underrated things on this planet. We get to learn from the other person, and they get to learn from us. They get to know what we feel, and we get to know what’s theirs. It’s a lost art, really.
Healthy dialogues don’t focus on whether who is right. Contrary, it attempts to see every possible perspective. After all, we are all unique in mind and experience. Why don’t we all sum it up and take advantage of picking a variety of fruits from a variety of trees?
There is power in listening
Listening skills are undervalued. Personally, I see listening as a difficult ability to master. It requires more than good hearing. It requires an ego drop. It demands you to set aside your thoughts and pay attention first to whomever you are conversing with.
Having said that, giving ourselves the chance to listen would settle conversations and ought to lead up to more open communication. And open communication takes away the window for a misunderstanding.
My side take
As much as I want to criticize people who use scare tactics to win a conversation, I would also disagree with anyone who would get this twisted. Whoever has the truth should win dialogues, no one else. Who I call out are people who resort to hostility. Whom when they already realize they are losing would still force their way to win a conversation.
Let’s build this world one healthy conversation at a time.
