Being Single Is Not the Answer
We are not meant to be alone
Matthew Perry was probably the only celebrity after perhaps Michael Jackson that people bawled like a baby over.
According to a survey by Ranker, Chandler Bing (Perry) was the most loved character of the wildly popular sitcom, Friends.
His performance as Chandler, the socially awkward, hilariously charming guy with an almost-dark childhood etched a memory in all our hearts.
We loved him.
Yet, he died alone in his hot tub.
We had no idea what he was going through in his personal life. His family and friends didn’t know enough.
I often wonder what would have happened if Matthew had found a real Monica. How different must his life have been!
In many of his interviews, Perry has drawn parallels between Chandler and himself, indicating that not all was well in his personal life.
Chandler finally learns to love himself after he and Monica start dating and get serious over the course of the show.
So, there is some merit to being in love and finding the right person for you.
You rediscover yourself
When you find love, you are forced to be yourself. Love doesn’t know any artificiality. And for a lot of us, this might be a rediscovery of sorts. As we grow older and spend more time being single, we tend to hide those parts of ourselves that we think nobody will get.
In other words, we start to lie to ourselves.
But then someone comes along and cracks open those very parts and teaches us how to accept them.
You learn to give more than you take
I can relate to this. I have always thought of myself as a giver and after I met my husband, I realized there was so much more to give. When I saw how kind he was, I wanted to be better too!
And I’ve found that I’m kinder now to not just him but myself too.
Which brings us to the next benefit.
You become a better version of yourself
They say your network is net worth.
Obviously, then, your partner has such a big role to play in how successful you become and how good or bad a human being you turn into.
You live with someone and see aspects of their personality, some of which you admire. Now, you are inspired and you want to learn from them.
Similarly, they try to pick up your best qualities.
Two people nurturing each other. Isn’t that beautiful?
You become more accepting and tolerant
Acceptance and tolerance are the very pillars of empathy. And as humans that’s what we need more of today.
But it all begins with a good partnership/marriage.
You learn to accept your flaws and those of your partner and as you accept, you realize that acceptance is a powerful mechanism to cruise through life. It gives you the courage to take in the bad even while you celebrate the good.
Similarly, you tolerate your partner’s annoyances and idiosyncrasies. Tolerance gives you the wisdom to meet, talk to, and form meaningful connections with others. It is what forms the basis of an open mind.
An open mind is a magnet for the best experiences!
You have a companion for life
If you’re lucky enough to find just the right person, then you have someone that you can share every moment of your life with. You become best friends.
Not only that, your relationships with other friends improve too. Refer to my previous point to understand why. As you become more tolerant of your inner circle, your relationships with them deepen.
How can you find the right person?
Uncertainty is at the core of every decision we take — big or small. But, before you go looking for the right person, rate yourself as a partner first.
- You don’t have to be the best one. But, you have to be willing to be honest. That’s the only way in.
- You must be patient. Patient enough to believe that things will work out. This applies more when you’re dating someone and getting to know them. Don’t be in a rush!
- Don’t overshare. I know I said to be honest, but you decide what you want to give away. A little bit of enigma and mystery never hurt anyone.
- Be a good listener. In a world of talkers, be a listener.
- Have faith. Just believe things will work out for you.
Once you know that you’re true to yourself, you will find that people are more drawn to you.
Just like they were to Chandler.
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