By The Grave
A year after the death of her boyfriend, Maya was sitting alone at his grave. It was a habit she could not change anymore. Every Sunday, she visited the graveyard to place a bouquet of lilies on his grave. Before his death, Vineet used to get her the same flowers almost every week. It had gradually become both of their favourites. After almost a year, it was one of the very few things that reminded Maya of her boyfriend. These days it felt as if she had started forgetting him and it was eating her alive.
She was sitting beside his grave for about two hours now when she heard someone behind her. It was the first time she had seen someone else in the cemetery. She got up to leave when he came up to her and said, “I see you every week, but you never stay for so long. What’s different today, if I may ask?”
“I am sure you haven't seen me every week. I was busy with work for the past month and I couldn't come here often. It feels like a betrayal to his memory. Why do I get to live a normal life when he is lying there?” It had been so long since Maya had talked about him. She wiped her tears from her sleeve and looked away, trying to hide her face. She felt embarrassed by how vulnerable she had been in front of a stranger.
He pulled out his handkerchief and offered it to her. She slowly shook her head, but he kept holding it close to her hands. Eventually, she took the handkerchief from him and wiped her face. He was not sure if he had done the right thing by talking to her; it felt as if he had triggered some buried feelings and now he couldn't leave her in this state.
After a long, uncomfortable pause, Maya looked at him and smiled, “Thank you. It is soaked in tears and you probably don't want it, but I will give you next week on Sunday. I believe you also come here every week, right?”
“Yeah, I confessed to that already. But if I am being completely honest, I started coming every week the last month. I saw you and I don't know why, but I felt like talking to you, but I couldn't muster the courage to even say hello. I know it sounds unusual to wait for someone in a cemetery, and now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't have said that. But I had to, I am sorry,” he spoke almost stuttering.
Maya was not sure if she should continue talking to him. On one hand, she felt like he was a stalker, but on the other, she couldn't penalise him for his honesty. He didn't hide the fact that he was there to see her and at this point in her life; she felt that she needed someone who would care about her that much.
She didn't realise that she was blushing slightly. It had been so long that she had felt normal in someone’s company. The people around her constantly felt the need to commiserate with her, and nothing had felt natural for so long. Even at work, she would prefer staying alone to avoid their sympathetic nods and smiles.
“Um-” he spoke in a gentle, comforting tone, “you haven't said a word for so long, I am sorry I made you uncomfortable, but I believe you took me the wrong way. What I meant was I admire your commitment to visit your husband’s grave every week, and I wanted to do the same thing.”
“Boyfriend,” she corrected, “we were engaged to be married this year, but life took an unexpected turn and nothing could ever be the same again.”
“I don't mean to interfere, but how did he die?” he asked.
“It’s alright. I feel like I have narrated this story hundreds of times, I can do it once more. We were coming back from my parent’s house. It was really late and I know he had a few beers, but he was not drunk. But somehow he lost control of the car and we crashed into a tree nearby. We were both unconscious for more than half an hour when a few guys saw us and they took us to the hospital.”
“Since he was on the steering wheel, most of the impact was on him and he lost his life the next morning. Sadly, I survived. Ever since I can’t help but think that if I would have driven the car that night, he would be alive today. And the guilt eats me up daily. All I can do now is come to his grave and ask for forgiveness, right?” She was looking at his grave with tears in her eyes.
“You know, I was convinced of everything you said before this. But I don’t know why I think that this is just a story. The thing is, I think the guilt is not because you weren't driving the car that day, but because you made him lose control of the steering wheel which led to the car crash. Am I wrong?” She was taken aback by these sudden accusations.
“Who are you?” she whispered.
“Does it really matter?” he replied, raising an eyebrow. When she did not speak he continued, “to tell you the truth, I am one of the investigating officers working on Vineet Mehra murder case and I know that you killed your boyfriend, so again why did you do that, Maya?” he replied.
She gave a hollow laugh and then spoke gently, “Mr. Officer, if you had any proof you wouldn't be standing there alone, there would be a whole team of officers waiting to arrest me. But since you came here to speak with me directly, I will let you in on a little secret, I loved him a lot, I was about to get married to him, but I gradually realised that he didn't even care about me anymore. And somehow everything was taken care of,” her eyes lit up as she spoke, “you know what I mean, right.”
She confidently strutted out of the graveyard.
