Can I ever truly be great?
This is just one of those talks I have with myself when I am sitting alone, not something to be taken seriously. It’s just me talking to myself and wondering about some stuff.
And today — well, not today, it has been going on for a long time but today I finally had the courage to ask myself this question — can I ever truly be great? someone to look up to?
We all know it’s nice to be optimistic, to be happy, to have high dreams and all. But come on, even if we forget the statistics screaming at our face that it is very unlikely — although possible, still highly unlikely.
Even if we forget the statistics we can’t forget using our common sense, because if everyone is special, no one is really special. If everyone is great, no one is really great. If everyone has great potential, its really just the average potential…
Now being great is very very very subjective, for one person something might be great and for another it might be average and for someone it might not even be enough! One man’s waste is another man’s treasure afterall.
For someone, having a loving family might be a great life — which by no doubts is — and for someone even earning enough to live under a roof might be enough. Now I know that I have to appreciate all those little things in life which I do, I absolutely love that I have a roof over my head and someone who cares for me… but… can I ever repay the favor?
Can I someday manage to repay them the favor? The love that they gave me, the attention they gave me? The kindness? The care? The trust? The honesty? The….. The good things?
I can love them back and be nice, but is it really enough? Be honest with me here, do you really think that’s enough?
Is giving people back what they gave you really enough? Is that what I should be doing? I think not, if someone trusts in me, if someone believes in me, if someone spends their very precious and limited time on earth with me and cares for me, if someone risks getting hurt by opening the door to their heart to me, if someone is with me when nobody is… could I really just give things back and expect us to be even?
I think not, I doubt that’s fair at all. that is why I believe that I should give back much more than what was given to me, I want those who believed in me to have all those things they want… but it doesn’t seem like that’s gonna happen anytime soon.
I tried, I failed, I tried again and failed again, I cannot count how many times I have gotten back up again. I can’t even remember the last time I wished for my success, the only thing I ever wanted to do is make those who believed in me to be happy, those who loved me to be happy, those who made me happy to be happy… those who were with me to be happy.
But can I be great enough for that, I don’t see any hope anymore. no way anymore…
Can I really be good enough to make them happy?
Can I ever truly be great?
