Can Marriage Survive without Sex — You Should Know For your Future
Married couples can be happy in their relationship even without sex.
This article deals with what it takes to make a relationship work and to ask ourselves the age-old question “can marriage without sex survive?”. The key to a healthy relationship is common sense, yet occasionally we seem to lose it when it comes to love and relationships. This article intends to offer some successful relationship tips, to enhance your relationship with your partner whether married or not.
I will start by telling a little story. One morning on my way to work, I believe it was 2014 or 2015 as I cannot remember the exact date, I was reading the free paper they normally hand out on the train, and there was an article in it written by a psychologist who to this day I will never forget.
The article was about a survey they did with couples married 30 years or more and it was about how they made their marriage work for so many years.
All of them had one thing in common and sex was not even in the top 5. It was all about the 5Cs. This article was so powerful that I ended up making a laminated copy of the 5Cs and posted it on my fridge door to always remind me what is the most important thing in a relationship.
What are the 5C’s you may ask, well here it is, the order listed is not so important:
- Communication
- Cooperation
- Compassion
- Compromise
- Connections
You may ask “what is the hell is she talking about?” these people are crazy, a relationship cannot survive without sex or the if you had to choose sex would probably be part of this list, then again you would say one cannot have a successful relationship without sex even an article I read on the famous Dr. Phil website mention this, he says it is just a myth to believe that a relationship can survive without sex.
Things happen in life, maybe an accident or medical condition that left your spouse unable to have sex in this, case what do you do? If your spouse is ill, would you leave your spouse because they have cancer, well not being able to have sex is a similar situation it is an illness.
People you need to revise how you think about relationships and return to the real definition of what a relationship is:
according to the dictionary, a relationship is: the way, two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other.
If you understand this, you would understand why the 5Cs are more important than sex within a relationship. Think about it, what good is sex within a relationship if you do not have a connection with each other, you cannot communicate with each other, do not have compassion for each other, or will not compromise on things that would enable you to find solutions to problems within your relationship and therefore, move forward.
The 5Cs help create a bond, friendship, serenity, and peacefulness within a relationship that is only enhanced by sex. Baby this is called amicable living. Should there be a medical reason why no sex possible in the relationship having the 5Cs in place, will help get through the tough times?
The 5C’s are all about how you relate to each other which can either make or break your relationship. Let me break it down in simple terms.
Communication
To have a relationship, you need to be able to communicate with each other. Able to talk to each other, listen to each other. Know that what you are saying will be well-received and your opinion counts. Do not be judgmental about what your spouse has to say, respect for each other’s opinion is vital within a relationship. Respect for each other is vital, this creates openness and honesty that will only enhance the bond you have with each other.
Cooperation
It’s all about the Team. Do not let pride get in your way. Cooperation is the big key to any relationship whether at work or in your personal life. Normally, they say it takes 2 to tangle and this is so true. Remember your spouse is your partner and most partnerships between two people require cooperation with each other to make it work.
In any partnership, you have to be able to work together to achieve common goals. There is no I or you when it comes to a relationship. It is about us. Too many relationships and marriages fail because we as a society have not learned this as yet, the normal mojo is each man for himself, but when you are in a relationship you must learn how to work together, you must be able to work together in order to accomplish common goals and that is the only way to move forward.
Weaknesses should be covered by each other. For instance, if your spouse cannot read, teach him. If you need to buy housework on the budget together, if your spouse lost his job support him without criticism until he finds another. Work together to enhance what you have. I will only create a stronger bond between the two of you.
Compassion
Be patient and compassionate with your loved one. We all have bad days. There are times in life we just need someone to be there for us. Support your partner through the tough times and you will see that this will create a stronger bond. Do not be judgmental of the negative that life may throw his way, but by his or her support system. Always remember that this is the person you love and he or she requires your support rather than your criticism when things go wrong.
Compromise
You don’t have to win every argument even when you know you are right for argument’s sake — just let it go, this will stop things from getting out of hand. If you can say OK, this time, we will follow your suggestion, but if it does not work, then next time we can try it my way to see what happens or one of my favorites is let’s agree to disagree and leave it at that.
Sometimes you need to listen and give him or her the benefit of the doubt. Just realize you are not always right and therefore, it will take some sort of compromise on both ends in order to reach a resolution, you cannot always be hardheaded in a relationship. Giving in does not mean you lose, but it means that you in some way helped continue a harmonious relationship with your spouse regardless of whom was right or wrong.
Boyfriend even though we are not married we have been together since 2006, he has his ways and I understand them, I also have my ways
I also understand that sometimes I will not win an argument with him even though I know I am right. In those cases what I do say to him is “let’s agree to disagree” and leave it at that Sometimes at the end of a disagreement I go over to him and try to give him a hug, sometimes it works sometimes it does not. Sometimes in some of these moments, he would say to me “I love you, but you drive me crazy” and I would smile at that. All in all, he knows I love him and will always have his back and we never hold malice against each other. All relationships go through trials, but you have to learn not to let things fester. Don’t hold malice. Compromise to keep harmony.
Connection
Note by having the above 4Cs in place helps create a bond that connects two people spiritually as well as emotionally that will help maintain a relationship through life trials.
Final Thoughts
The bottom line is a relationship can survive without sex but it cannot survive without the 5C’s as listed above. Can you see yourself with someone who?
- You cannot communicate with
- Is unwilling to cooperate with you
- They have no compassion for you and what you are going through
- Is unwilling to compromise (always ready to for a fight in order to get their way)
- A person who you cannot connect with.
Without the 5Cs in place, you become disconnected from the relationship, and therefore when hard times come there is nothing to hold on to, and your try to find a connection elsewhere.
A harmonious relationship may not be a passionate relationship in today’s society, but it is a well-balanced, amicable, friendly, easy, peaceful, pleasant relationship that can survive anything life throws at it, even the lack of sex.
As a final taught to you all, I would say marriage without sex is possible but it all depends on how you relate to each other, positive or negative. With the 5Cs in place in your relationship answer is yes. If the 5Cs are not in place the answer is no. That means if you implement the 5Cs within your relationship at all times you will have a successful relationship.
