Can we conquer our emotions?
“Yes, your emotions are valid, but that is not permission to react to those emotions in any way you feel like it. We are all connected, and words and actions are impactful, so use them responsibly.”– Inspired by Dr. Caroline Leaf
In my late sixties, I have seen life, and lived through good and bad times. Sometimes things went the way I wanted, and many a time all my plans went awry. Yet, time relentlessly moved on, and my experiences taught me many life lessons.
I learnt that it is futile to plan life. Your world suddenly changes, when you least expect and it’s wise to accept and just go with the flow. Resistance and cribbing is normal, but the earlier you adapt to changes, the less stress you face. Over the years, when I least expected doors opened, that changed my life drastically.
My first job was a compromise. I never intended to become a teacher, but it was convenient, the timings were suitable and left me enough time to devote to my family and keep my sanity.
Slowly I began to love the time I spent at work. I realised that my students were a source of great joy to me and I found ways to endear myself to them and make learning effortless and fun. Each year as my students moved on I would feel nostalgic till the next batch came in and then get totally involved with the new lot of students. Even if you teach the same age group for years, nothing is repetitive or boring.
Each year as the students changed so did the challenges and scenario. In my career of over three decades of teaching, I matured as a person, learning to give a little of myself to my students and in turn imbibing so much from them. I moved across the country to different cities with my husband and continued to work in different schools understanding how culture impacted, thoughts, values and even styles of learning.
Spending time with youngsters and empathising with their feelings, happiness, sadness and straightforward ways a teacher finds pleasure in small things and laughs and cries as easily as her students.
Today, I am sometimes amazed at how manipulative people are. As you graduate to middle age and cope with life and circumstances, you need to survive and exist and for that, you learn diplomacy, guile and sycophancy.
Ambition overrides loyalty and honesty and employees strive to move upward in their careers often stepping over more competent and simpler people.
Unfortunately, the people proceeding to the top may not be the most deserving, and this manifests as stress in work places, causing so many young people to suffer from life-long illnesses.
As a teacher and parent I don’t think we prepare our children to be strong enough to deal with the complexities of life. The best years of our life are spent worrying about useless professional politics, and we are always planning and fretting about the future. We miss out on life, exercise, holidays, family time and friendships in the pursuit of professional success. Long hours and days spent at work, exhaust us physically, emotionally and mentally.
Conscientious employees waste their energetic years giving more than a hundred per cent to their jobs, irrespective of whether their work is recognised. They forget the importance of maintaining a work-life balance. Years fly by and when they finally do have the time and realise their folly it is too late as they are old, have ailments, and few friends.
What is important is to live in the moment. It is this moment, that is crucial. Most of us live in the past or spend time planning the future, not realising that life is short and unpredictable.
So why fret and worry as what will be will be?
We need to teach ourselves and our children not to be too sensitive. It is important to understand that no two people are wired similarly and what is important to you may be insignificant to the other. If they do not give the expected reaction to your predicament or situation it may be because they just don’t get it.
People will hurt you intentionally or unintentionally but they will only succeed if you get hurt.
I have great faith in humanity and the goodness in people. Yet many a time people do not live up to my expectations, primarily because my expectations from them may be too high and unrealistic. It is important to be practical and try and understand each other’s point of view without being egoistic.
“Being emotional is by nature But being practical is by practice And Only practice can help you to balance your emotions through your practical observations.”
