Can We Please Stop Arguing And Settle This Peacefully?
Getting our points across effectively
I’ve never come across anyone who confesses they like arguments. Some would admit they’ve arrived at the satisfaction of winning an argument, but no one really enjoys it, no matter what we’re arguing about. It’s never fun.
I see conflict and arguments as negative, something I want to avoid. I hate arguments and I’m not proud of it when it happens, yet sometimes I just can’t help myself.
Do I have to argue to get my point across?
When I had gotten into an argument with someone in the past, it’s for two purposes — to get them to see my point of view so they would change or to persuade them to accept mine. That’s it.
Unless we are highly conscious of our feelings and thought processes during an argument, our brain automatically defers to our animalistic past, where fighting is a survival instinct. Our thoughts and emotions that have survival values will produce behaviors that increase our chances of survival.
This means every time I get into an argument with someone, my emotions signal an imminent threat which then initiates an urgent action in response. My goal is to win, I intend to be right. I want to dominate. My brain may translate that as me wanting to get the…
