Can’t Stop Relapsing? The Real Reason for Repeated Relapse (And It’s Hiding in Plain Sight)
What really ails the chronic relapser.
After multiple relapses whilst working with my new (seventh) sponsor, one day, he casually remarked.
‘You know you really are a lot worse than you think.’
‘What do you mean?’ I said.
‘I mean, your situation is far more serious than you imagine.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ I said, nodding. ‘I could lose everything and eventually die.’
‘No, we know that,’ he said, waving his hand dismissively. ‘That’s obvious! I’m talking about what you’re dealing with, the condition.’
Those last words, ‘the condition’, froze me on the spot.
I had suspected something was bad because I could no longer keep an appointment with anyone or anything.
I simply didn’t know when I would relapse next and go ‘missing’ for three or four days.
It seemed I was powerless to stop once I started and powerless to stay stopped once I quit.
And all the will and desire in the world to not relapse made no difference whatsoever.
