Challenging Times Bring Strength

Life is never even for us. It appears full of sad and disappointing moments, or we seek to remember them more often. More than those happy times. Have you ever considered the reason behind this human psychology?

I am no psychiatrist to judge that, but I delved into this phenomenon that sorrows are long-lasting because we cannot heal from the trauma it caused. Physical injuries get healed, but not spiritually. Well, my opinion is that bodily ailments also cause mental disturbances. The unconscious brain is more aware than the conscious one.

Here is the trauma from both my pregnancies that left me in misery for years. I had the worst pregnancies both times. Close to death will be the right thing to say. But having sick kids prevails over anything else.

Both of my kids were sick at birth time. During my first pregnancy, I had no idea what the birth would likely be. The funny part is that my husband was more innocent than me. We knew nothing.

My firstborn was premature, and I was in the hands of butchers in the name of doctors. They were blunt.

No prior precautions were taken from their side. Later it occurred to me that my gynae doctor had to go through a difficult birth time for her daughter last time.

And apparently, she lost all her energy over there. No sympathies were left for the patient on the operation table, and that was me.

My firstborn girl, she did not cry. Doctors were pushing no effort for the baby. They were talking to each other heartlessly. I started crying, they patted her, and a few moans released.

I remember when the nurse brought her near me, and I said, she is turning blue. Why are you not paying attention?

They advised my husband to take her to the hospital. They handed them over an empty cylinder. Which probably was used on her son-in-law, the night before.

I was a shy, reserved girl. Frightened is the right word. I never spoke for myself. I would have refused my mother-in-law because I do not like her suggested gynecologist, and am not comfortable with her approach to addressing me.

My girl was at 32 weeks. She was admitted to the hospital for ten days, and I was in deep pain internally. I said I may not get up from the bed, and the response was, you are lying. The reason was that I was not in my right mental state.

My girl was with me finally. The real torture started here when my husband’s aunt used to stay with us, started badmouthing things like, she is so weak and looks even smaller than a chicken when in your arms.

There were many days like that and after two months. It was the time for me to take a stand. I was rude and loud. I made myself clear and said no to bullies around me.

My secondborn, my son, has DCMP (dilated cardiomyopathy). We didn’t know about it at the time of birth. He was sick after every two or three days. After a month, the real torture began, when he stopped taking feed.

He was sweaty and crying like hell. I was denied everything because of my bad experience with doctors. It is nothing more than colic and all.

My ears still echo from his whimpers of pain. Can you imagine a two-month-old baby humming like an older person? That night of sorrow still haunts me when my son was diagnosed with heart disease, and I cannot forget my cries the whole night holding him tightly.

Those hours of crying could not release my sufferings through my eyes, but how else are we supposed to show our grief then?

It was our holy month of fasting. We were in the hospital in long queues. We were admitted to the hospital, and it occurred to us that our son had only 20 percent of his heart working.

It made me shattered. People were muttering that she births sick kids. My sister claimed that what have you done wrong to deserve all this?

I can maybe figure out that I got punished for some of my wrongdoings. But why my kids? Why is it, not me but my kids? A piece of my heart misses the beating with each groaning.

Miraculous part

My girl diagnosed with “CP child” is leading a healthy life; doctors say it is unbelievable. She has A little problem with her right foot that doesn’t work and puts all her weight on her left side. Her right side is a little weaker, but she is smart, with gifted intelligence.

I cannot thank God for showing me the difficult times and helping me. Maybe God wanted to make me strong.

My boy is still in the recovery phase, not off his meds. But an incredible thing happened. His heart was working at 45 percent within a month of medications.

Lesson learned:

Life teaches us the hard way if we are not wise enough to realize it ourselves. What exactly happened to me? I never paid attention to life experiences.

They say good things come to you by doing good, but only acting, brings nothing until you have a strong relationship with yourself.

The art of communication is a big thing to consider always. We should learn to say “no.”

Never neglecting yourself is the best thing you will ever do for your kids, as only then; you will take care of them. Nobody else can be better than you in this regard.

You own your life. Stop handing it over to meaningless people.

Speak up for yourself before it’s too late.

I know how to deal with people now, and I wish I had known it before and my trauma would be half.

Most important of all, we have to fight alone. Nobody can feel your sorrow. So be strong enough to stand against the whole world.

I wrote it here to let you all understand from my experience to take a stand for themselves at the right time. Life is too short to learn from our mistakes every single time. We should be aware to absorb whatever the universe is bringing our way.