Changing Your Self-Talk Can Change Your Life
Tackle imposter syndrome by shifting away from binary thinking to spectrum thinking
From an early age, we are inundated with information that tells us that we align with some “type” — creative type vs. logical type, spontaneous type vs. planner type, outgoing type vs. shy type, adventurous type vs. homebody type — the list goes on. The rise of quizzes and tests meant to label people as one thing vs. another, has contributed to the overwhelming presence of self-categorization. And I’ll enjoy a good “which cookie flavor are you?” quiz as much as the next person, but the human tendency to place ourselves into categories is something that should be challenged.
We as humans are attracted to binaries: if not this, then that.
There is some value to this way of thinking as it pertains to our self-growth and development. The need to self-identify, and then validate through external experience, allows us to start a self-journey in understanding ourselves a bit deeper, which can serve a variety of purposes.
For example, it can help us identify our weaknesses and our strengths. Currently, companies are even investing in Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment, which is a test that provides each person a strengths DNA profile. Each person can bring a unique set of strengths to the table so it can be useful to pinpoint exactly which they may be. Understanding strengths and weaknesses can improve productivity and teamwork by leveraging the right people at the right time, in the right circumstances. In my company, we even write out our 5 top strengths from Gallup’s assessment on our employee profile.
Being self-aware can be, and for the most part is, a good thing. And while it is a worthwhile discussion, it is precisely that dichotomy between strengths and weaknesses, that binary, that may limit our ability to tackle new things and can contribute to imposter syndrome.
I used to think that imposter syndrome only existed in the workplace, but I realize that imposter syndrome exists in many different areas of one’s personal life. Hobbies, passions, and even relationships.
I describe it as feeling like you’re never quite on time, either arriving too early or too late. It is the feeling that you don’t quite belong in that space and it’s usually because we have some fixed idea of who we are — and where we should be. We have self-categorized ourselves in our past and that idea has persisted into our present and future. And since we love to view the world in black and white, we label ourselves as either good or bad at something. This labeling prevents us from trying new things we are unfamiliar with, and can make life less enjoyable.
I love consuming art — from photography, videography to interior design. I don’t know how to create but I have an interest and this is an area I want to grow in. I’ve always labeled myself as someone who is not design-oriented, someone who doesn’t have the innate ability to do anything visually or aesthetically pleasing. With the rise of social media platforms like Instagram, it seemed even more apparent that I didn’t belong in this space. A binary mindset would prevent me from even trying. While the visual arts is something completely new to me, that doesn’t mean I won’t ever be good and it definitely doesn’t mean that I won’t enjoy and appreciate the experience.
While I may never get to the point where I describe myself as an artist, I will have not excluded myself from the space entirely. This opens up my life to a plethora of things I allow myself to indulge and enjoy.
Spectrum thinking is the mindset shift that views our capabilities, our experiences, and our “strengths” on a spectrum — one that is not fixed. It is a sliding scale that can increase and decrease at our will. This mentality is a healthier approach to living life, because it reminds us that we are not limited by our current experience or lack thereof.
Changing our self-talk from, “I’m either good or bad,” to “I have little or no experience,” or “I currently struggle with this,” can dramatically change the way we approach life. It’s the understanding that experience is for everyone to enjoy, and that nobody is holding us back, except ourselves.
At the end of the day, all that matters is that you’re the main character in your life, and that you’re doing what you enjoy, despite how good you believe yourself to be. Do yourself a favor and give yourself the chance to try; give yourself the chance to change and grow in ways you may not yet fully comprehend.
The Rx? A dose of don’t take yourself too seriously, a spoonful of try new things(even if it isn’t “your thing”), and a sprinkle of shamelessness.
The world is for you to experience — do the thing!
