Choose Your Friends Wisely
Friendship is the most valuable part of life
one of the most valuable things one can ever have in life is a true and genuine friend. Every person has friends who are not genuine rather they are friends due to one or other agenda. Like, Some people are friends to only rich people. Some people are friends to bosses. Some prefer to stay with modern people so that they can get accepted in society.
It’s a sad reality that in today’s world people have no longer a true friend. Also, they are dependent on virtual friends. These sorts of people wait an entire day to get approval, like, or comment on their Facebook post. However, Facebook, Twitter, and other social media platforms do not help to connect with people. When you are in need or in a problem at that time, Unfortunately, these friends are not available, and they cannot give you more than a sad emoji.
It has become challenging to have a sincere, true, and genuine friend nowadays. One can have a genuine friend if he becomes a genuine friend.
So,what is the genuine friendship? How does it look like? Or How can we become a genuine friend? Why it is necessary to have good friends?
The Prophet (PBUH ) said:
A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.
[Sahih al-Bukhari, vol 3, #314 and Muslim]
The religion Islam gives immense importance to friendship. There are different types of friends that are mentioned in the Quran.These friends are:
WALI (The Protector): This is the friend who guards you in your difficult times .This type of friend is the strong friend.
HAMEEM: This is the type of person in whose presence you feel warm and comfortable.
SIDDIQUE: This is the kind of friend with whom you are honest and you are not friends to a person due to some agenda. Like,you are not friend with them because you want to get job etc.
This kind of friend is the honest friend who is your friend for your sake.This kind of friend supports you in all the good you do.
WALEJA: One of the special and rare friends are the ones who you can trust upon.These type of friends know all about your life and they are deeply involved in your life.
SAHIB : This is the type of friend who is concerned about you. These type of friends are always there to help you to the best of their ability and they are not show off or materialistic. Simply, they are responsible good citizens.
BITA’ANA: One who keeps your secret.
QAREEN: A friend who is equivalent to you and stays always by your side, and they are similar to you. They think like you or follow you. Qareen is the one who is always with you. Qareen can be a good friend or a bad friend .
Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2378
One should choose his Qareen wisely because this kind of friend either takes you to paradise or hell. One should not participate in the bad activities of his friend. It is mentioned below in verses (50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57 of chapter 37), that a person in paradise will see his best friend (Qareen ) in hell, and he will thank Allah for entering him into paradise. So, this kind of person did not participate in the bad actions of his friend in this world. Therefore, he gets into paradise.
One should have good and constant friends. A person should not be Qareen to a bad person because the company of a bad person influences the other person. In such type of situation, one should be Siddiq or Saahib to his friend rather than involving himself in his bad deeds, and should avoid becoming his Qareen.
One should find a smart way to protect himself and at the same time he should not give up on his friend. There are two reactions that one can have: If a person is mature, then he will not give up on his friend, and he would also not be Qareen to this friend because of the bad habits of his friend. This person would know how to establish a healthy distance without cutting off.
And they will approach one another, inquiring of each other. (37:50)
A speaker among them will say, “Indeed, I had a companion [on earth] (37:51)
Who would say, ‘Are you indeed of those who believe (37:52)
That when we have died and become dust and bones, we will indeed be recompensed?’” (37:53)
He will say, “Would you [care to] look?” (37:54)
And he will look and see him in the midst of the Hellfire. (37:55)
He will say, “By Allah, you almost ruined me. (37:56)
If not for the favor of my Lord, I would have been of those brought in [to Hell]. (37:57)
Another type of reaction is directly cutting oneself off from the bad friend to protect oneself from any bad influence. If a person is unable to maintain a healthy distance from a bad friend, then he should leave this person because a bad friend can take you to hell. God has already mentioned the biggest regret a person will have on the day of judgment is about taking wrong friends in the world. The verse (25:8) is mentioned below in which a person is in regret due to taking wrong friend in life. According to scholars, this is one of the biggest regrets expressed in the Quran. Therefore, One should have a good, righteous Qareen.
“Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! (25:28)
Above mentioned types of friends are extracted from the Quran. If one is lucky, then he can have a friend with all these qualities. However, Not all friends have all these qualities. Some can’t keep secrets. Others are not available in difficult times. Some friends don’t tell you or guide you about the right or wrong because they are afraid to lose the friendship.
Sometimes, Friendships in this world are painful. However, a true friend is the one who possesses all these qualities and is your friend without any agenda, which means there should be no strings attached.A true friend is always there to help you and protect you in difficult times.
On the one hand, the Quran mentions the qualities of true and good friends. On the other hand, the Quran mentions the friends that are harmful to the person. These two kinds are:
KHAZOUL: A friend who acts like your friend, But he is not your friend, and his/her true colors start appearing to you after some time. These types of friends are the ones who are with you when it is convenient when times become difficult, They disappear on you.
These types of friends are extremely disappointing friends. This is also the description of the devil in the Quran who makes people do wrong things and makes them feel that these sins are for their good, and he leaves the person in the darkness of his sins. When judgment day comes, he will not be there to help that person.
So, are you a friend who leaves his friend in tough times and acts like you are not aware of his tough situation? One should be a reliable friend and should not fall into this category.
KHADAN: This is the kind of friendship between boys and girls (friendship which involves boyfriends or girlfriends) , and it is prohibited in religion Islam as this type of friendship is responsible for ruining the marriage and relations.
When one follows right path, He loses friend in that path because not all people choose the same destiny for themselves.There will be time when you follow the right path and friends around you start disliking you because of your determination to stay away from bad deeds.In this situation, one should not give up on his friends and at the same time he should not be involved or participate with him in his bad deeds.
However, In most cases the bad friends leave and go away then one should not feel sad over it because God promises that He will give you good friends who will be with you in your journey towards paradise.
And (as for) those who believe and do good, We will most surely cause them to enter among the good. (29:9)
