Compassion For The Oppressor
Opening The Heart Chakra Even More
It breaks my heart every time I see some kind of criminal or violent activity. I fail to understand what allows someone’s consciousness to harm another being. It doesn’t matter though whether I get it or not. It still is a very valid choice in this world for people that are convinced it’s the way to go. Growing up, this was a tough thing to figure out, and I naturally chose the victim’s side. Today I choose them both — the victim and the oppressor.
What changed me was a very powerful quote from the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh I read many years back that stopped me in my thinking tracks. He said —
“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
This was a heart opener for me. I had never considered this before. It always felt like a typical response to having sympathy for the victim and very valid anger for the perpetrator. Almost everyone picked the victim’s side. Then how come the oppressor needs help as he mentioned above? Isn’t he obviously a very bad guy who deserves the highest form of punishment? This quote kept me restless for a long time until I received the wisdom behind it.
It so happened one day that my kitchen was full of black ants due to some food particles I hadn’t cleaned properly. In no time I had swiped the counter. I felt it was the most appropriate response to them cause pretty soon they would be all over my pantry. The next time this happened (after having read the above quote), I googled natural ways to get rid of ants. Tea tree oil had the most hits and yes it worked. After a couple of days, the ants were gone. Very few died in the process as compared to the previous time.
The ant’s had encroached on what I considered to be my property or my house. I was clearly the oppressor here and them the victim. They had no business being in my kitchen and I was rightfully getting rid of them. From their end, they were just tiny creatures, hard-working creatures, in fact, looking for food AND not harming me in return. Peacefully collecting what they found, in a disciplined teamwork style. Looking at them and dwelling on Thich’s quote made me feel ashamed of myself.
After this incident, I never viewed crime in the same way again. I was still able to discriminate, in each case, there were a clear oppressor and a clear victim. However, when I learned more about the oppressor's side my heart just melted. When I shared my views with others they felt I was weak and couldn’t tell good from the bad. Apparently, I didn’t properly understand what dharma means. This didn’t stop me though from exploring both sides properly. I was ready to include the oppressor in my heart.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not spineless as people think to feel for the bad guy. Punishment yes, justice yes, equality yes, a strong message to the society yes — all of this must still be done. These don’t become optional if you develop compassion. However, over and above this, I started to feel the pain and suffering of those who couldn’t make different choices, just the way I hadn’t with the ants. There was definitely something more to this that had come to the forefront in my consciousness.
Usually, a remark gets passed that past bad karma leads to such events in one’s life. Cycles of life and death are clearly described and validated in eastern religions. Looking at an unspeakable crime scene, the bad guy and the good guy, we can quickly become judges of righteousness. How can we, who don’t have the vantage point of God, ever know the past, present, and future of the two involved, and accurately determine if this is past karma, fresh karma, or an adjustment of some sort? Yet we are determined to pick sides based on the little slice of time we are observing. Yes, in the current time-space that must be the case, but in all of eternity, we really can’t say for sure who is the good or the bad guy.
Observing my emotions when I witness news reports has helped me develop self-awareness that I hope you will consider as well. When we see such a horrific event a memory file opens in our mind. This could be the final settlement between the two souls, who manage to forgive and repent and close the loop. However I will not get to know that, nor is it likely the media will report it. So this memory file stays open even if the souls have reconciled. What has now taken place is a dent in my heart.
How do I get closure from so many such files of injustice that are open in my heart and have nothing to do anymore with the souls involved? As I dwelled on this and on the anger I feel due to violence committed I am once again drawn back to the ants. Do I have the steadiness to not take sides knowing well I have played both the oppressor and the victim several times?
I want to cultivate that balance and rise above the duality of these two roles. Because punishments and laws have come and gone yet man inflicts harm. It hasn’t stopped him. What then can we as the witnesses learn from this? I have learned we are not here to pick sides, simply because we cannot accurately do so. Yet this breaks open our heart and forces of love pour out of us to engulf the hurt and hope it never happens again to anyone. We are not here to keep score; we are here to keep opening our hearts and include everybody.
There is no way to say that in a past life we haven’t been the bad guy. Others during the time with more compassion have most certainly helped us rise to where we are today. The cycle of life and death keeps going on, only to be broken in my opinion by forgiveness and repentance. Heartfelt, heartbreaking repentance by the oppressor and a deliberate release of the hurt by the victim. Then only do we become truly free and prevent coming back to take revenge.
None of this is easy especially in the case of some extreme horrors, and none of this is impossible either. Little by little with softness I have mustered the courage to open my heart. I have come to realize that someone in much darkness with little to no love inflicts harm on others easily. This need not be a major crime, it could be a spat between two people. Love is the antidote. We don’t need to love the oppressors, but we can definitely shoot more love into the world daily and hope those who need it, find it and can stop themselves.
I am not there yet and anger still remains my default response. However, I make an effort once the anger has passed to see the big picture and pray for both the souls involved. Pray for their freedom from the chords that have entangled them in such a difficult position. I pray that people all around the world, including myself, make softer choices and overcome the unconsciousness in ourselves. Who knows if I was also once a helpless ant? Because I would definitely want someone to think twice before swiping the counter clean.
