Consider me disturbed: However and whenever you meet me
It can be difficult to be open and honest about our struggles, especially when we’re not doing well emotionally. Instead, we often distract ourselves by staying busy and ignoring our own needs. Many of our conversations start off with a simple question like "How are you?" and the automatic response is often "I’m fine, thanks for asking.
Recently, there have been many changes in my life. My first relationship ended before it even began, and I have been busy starting an online business and drafting a manuscript for my first book!
Granted, if anyone asks how I’m doing: I’m truly and honestly disturbed.
I can’t stress this enough. I’m disturbed!
Put simply, I’m far from being OK.
In every possible way imaginable.
Be it mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, and unfortunately, financially!
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A month later, I confidently said on the phone, "Yes, I will be your girlfriend" to a certain guy I went on a date with. He seemed impressed and said, "Ooh wow, that’s great!" I then expressed my apologies for taking so long to give him an answer but quickly followed up with a statement that I was worth the wait. He responded positively and suggested that we should meet soon, to which I firmly agreed.
Three days later, he sent me an SMS on WhatsApp, basically ending our relationship. My initial reaction was one of surprise and confusion, followed by a mixture of frustration and disappointment. Even now, I’m not entirely sure which emotion was more prevalent.
The experience left me feeling disturbed. Despite his wanting the relationship, nothing he said made sense. On the positive side, what to do?
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The idea of writing my book started appealing to me whenever I read an interesting and well-written book or blog. The voice and style of the authors made me curious to know my own.
I figured to truly find out, would be to write my stuff with a personal touch to it. Then maybe, just maybe I’d discover the unknown.
That said, I’m pleased to say that I finally have a book idea and a compelling title to go with. I’m actually on chapter two right now!
To say I know how the story continues from there onwards, how many chapters the book will have, or how the book ends... I’d be a lying liar. And that I’m not. At least not today.
The thought of all that uncertainty freaks me out and disturbs me in every waking moment. All I know for certain is that by the end of this year, I’ll have a ready and decent manuscript to pitch for publication. Fingers crossed!
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I have always dreamt of owning a bookstore business but never pursued it because of the lack of capital, experience, and tim
Despite facing several valid reasons that could have held me back, I chose not to let them stop me. Instead, I created an Instagram page where I post about the books I find interesting and valuable enough for potential customers to purchase and read. Even though I haven’t sold any books yet, that’s not the main point. The main point is that I have successfully started my own business!
"And that makes me feel much less disturbed."
