ILLUMINATION
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ILLUMINATION

Cristiano Ronaldo — The Ego

The story about endless proving of oneself

Photo by Duncan Sanchez on Unsplash

“Football players and their egos! That’s a special type of relationship!” Aksel said.

“Cristiano Ronaldo was an unwanted child. Did you know that?” Edo asked Aksel.

“Unwanted?” Aksel was surprised. “What do you mean?”

“His mother Dolores wanted to abort him when he was in her womb. After a doctor had refused to do the operation, she was still decisive to lose her child, so she attempted to do it on her own. As she stated, she had drunk boiled black beer and ran until she felt like she would drop.”

“Wow, did she say that? That’s one honest woman,” Aksel was stunned.

“‘God’s will’ is what she calls it today,” Edo said. “The fact she couldn’t abort him.”

“It would have been a true shame if she managed to do it,” Aksel said. “He is one of the greatest! His winning mentality is one of a kind. He always strives for more, for being better. He was born with such an attitude.”

“What do you think where that kind of mentality comes from?” Edo asked.

“I believe it comes from hunger for success. ‘I was made to be the best,’ he states for himself,” Aksel said.

“Wow, what kind of person even says that?” Edo asked. “I’ll tell you what kind — a person who needs to prove something! A person who feels rejected. I swear it all started in the womb.”

“The womb?”

“Yes, his mother’s womb,” Edo made it clear. “The moment when he felt the scent of boiled black beer around him while he was enjoying his bath in amniotic fluid, he must have been like: “You want to get rid of me? Oh, no, you won’t!””

“God’s will?” Aksel questioned the words of Ronaldo’s mother.

“‘You will see, mother,’ fetus Ronaldo said. I will be the greatest, and I will make you the greatest mother of all. You will regret spilling beer all over me,” Edo paraphrased.

“So, rejection?” Aksel asked. “All the answers lie in rejection?”

“All the answers,” Edo confirmed.

“Listen to what he once said: ‘After 400 matches in Real, winning is still my ultimate ambition. I think I was born like that.’”

“He certainly was born like that,” Edo interrupted. “‘El sueño del niño’ is a message engraved on his boots. ‘The dream of the child.’”

“That is nice!” Aksel admired. “So, from the moment he came to the earth, you could tell? From the moment he took the ball, it was obvious, wasn’t it? The Cristiano Ronaldo mentality was born?”

“It seems so, Aksel.”

“But that means the whole thing is based on the attempted abortus.”

“Ego…” Edo stated.

“Ego?” Aksel was confused.

“His ego is based on rejection. It is the matter of life and death for Ronaldo. It is about proving himself he is worth enough. It is either he is the number one or he is not worth of living. He needs to prove his life was worth of coming into existence.”

“And he does prove it, indeed!” Aksel said.

“When he says that he hates losing, he means it one hundred percent,” Edo said. “It is misery and depression what he feels when he loses. If he thinks he was made to be the best, what do you think that happens once he does not deliver? If he sincerely believes he was born to be the best, then there is so much room to suffer.”

“Yeah, only one can be the best.”

“Exactly. Do you remember the final match of EURO 2004 in Portugal?” Edo asked.

“I do remember! When Greece, against all odds, beat Portugal and won the European Championship. Angelos Charisteas headed the only goal in the match.”

“So, you must then remember the tears of then 19-years old Ronaldo?”

“Oh, he was so young,” Aksel said. “And in such pain.”

“He didn’t want to exist at that point how sad he was. Those were the most famous tears in the history of football, I would dare to say.”

“Luckily, he didn’t lose many finals in his career. Only nine finals he did lose, out of 32,” Aksel said.

“Luckily…” Edo confirmed. “Can you remember the period from 2009 until 2012?”

“What about it?” Aksel was curious.

“That must have been the most difficult period of his career.”

“Why?”

“Lionel Messi!” Edo exclaimed like a prophet, lifting his arms in the air, imitating Messi’s goal celebration. “Leo Messi was awarded Ballon d’Or winner for the best player in the world for four consecutive years. Ronaldo was miserable. He must have been.”

“Ronaldo finally won the award in 2013, didn’t he?”

“That is right!” Edo exclaimed. “When Pele announced his name at the Ballon d’Or ceremony, Ronaldo was rescued from the agony. He bent his head down for a second, and at that moment, he breathed new life into his meaning. His ultimate victory was fulfilled — he doesn’t deserve to be rejected. He deserves to live.”

“He was born to be the best,” Aksel repeated Ronaldo’s words.

“He stood up and burst in tears. That was the most emotional moment of his life — becoming the best once again after four years of suffering.”

“He is a god of football anyway you take it,” Aksel said. “And he knows it.”

“He knows it. He knows he is a god. He knows it!” Edo repeated. “But my friend, don’t forget… If being God depends on being better than others, that only means one more thing — there is a satan dwelling there as well.”

“I don’t see what Satan has to do with anything here.”

“Ego!” Edo exclaimed again.

“What about it?”

“Well, if he himself thinks he is a god… That is nothing else but Satan’s act — convincing you of something that inevitably chains you with ego. Because ego restricts your soul, ego suffocates, ego puts the reins on freedom. Ego makes you a god, but for the price of a satan,” Edo was philosophising.

“Go on,” Aksel encouraged Edo.

“To carry the burden of god…” Edo continued. “… It’s not easy. Tell me, Aksel, what happens when a man, who believes is a god himself, is told to descend from heavenly heights, or, perhaps, he is told there is another god who has won four consecutive awards for the best player in the world?”

“Well, he is not happy, I guess.”

“He is not happy at all. He starts to show off, convince, agonise and torture himself, stressing, proving himself and explaining,” Edo said. “And Satan? Satan just observes and enjoys: “Dance! Dance, oh God Almighty. Now you are in my field.”

“Wow…”

“On the other hand… Do you know that type of a man whose ego is not in control over him? What happens when you tell him he is as small as a mouse…”

“What happens?”

“A smile appears on his face. That is a man free of chains of ego. That is a man who knits the net with God, who sings the song of freedom.”

“True, but… At the end of the day, without such an ego, Cristiano Ronaldo would have never become the greatest. He would have never become Cristiano Ronaldo.”

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Karlo Tasler

Karlo Tasler

211 Followers

Explaining the complexity of life and its various perspectives through the beautiful game of football. Or rather the tragic game of football, so to speak.