Journey through the Shadows: Navigating the Intersection of the Dark Night and Depression
Discerning the dark night of the soul from depression takes serious self-reflection.
It’s been more than 10 years since I found out I was denied my promotion to Associate Professor. Last night a few voices from that college echoed back to me. I remember distinctly the arrogance of one man who seemed to rule every meeting he attended. His pride stunk up the room like an egg salad fart.
I suppose he might have been a great department or division chair to those under him, but he always wanted to thwart the efforts of me and my department. I could blame him for my denial of promotion and harbor extreme resentment for “what he did to me.” But that doesn’t change what happened. Being resentful or vindictive doesn’t change me or him. It only keeps people stuck.
Yet I still feel a little bit of rage for what happened there. He might not have been to blame at all. It could have been a few other people who weren’t on my side. I accepted my fate, acknowledged the actions that got me to that point, and realized about five years later that I really didn’t want to stay there anyway. I liked my life there, I really enjoyed my friends and my activities, but I wasn’t growing much. Because I wasn’t willing…
