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Dating: Stop The Games, Lead With Authenticity
Something changed for me in dating when I stopped the games and self-contortion that were required for me to be who I thought others wanted me to be.
Long story short, those dating games don’t work. Yes, feigning your interest and being the “cool girl/guy” might extend a talking phase or get someone to chase you, but in the long run does it bring satisfaction, intimacy and compatibility? The building blocks of love?
In my experience, rarely.
If anything, it only led to an eventual rejection that was compounded by the realisation that I was trying to win someone over the entire time. I always say, what’s worse than being rejected? Being rejected whilst trying to be someone you’re not.
This isn’t to say we need to be ourselves to get what we want, rather we need to let go of the need to have a relationship entirely. Ironically, when we do that, and focus on championing who we are as a person and lead with that, the things we want ultimately do come our way — better and more aligned than we could ever have hoped for.
This is why I think authenticity is key to success in dating.
But lets first look at why game playing is NOT the way to approach dating.