Death Is Not Such A Big Deal
Not for me, anyway.
I know I will anger some people by writing this, but this is how I genuinely feel. I find myself confused and alienated as I see us collectively scurrying about our lives like scared rabbits.
It’s not the current pandemic and the panic and anxiety we’ve seen unfolding around it, it’s not the inhumane practice of extending death indefinitely in hospitals and elderly homes no matter how hopeless the situation, it’s not the coddling of children by parents or the coddling of citizens by governments, nor is it the strange, infantile way we are expected to relate to health professionals and governmental control, nor the fear-mongering these institutions employ to keep us in that state of dependency…
Well, it’s all of these, of course, but more than that it’s the ubiquitous, general air of frayed nerves and anxiety that was present even before the onset of the 2020 mass trauma, and at an all-time high now. (Though there does seem to be a kind of emotional exhaustion passing around at this point) Living life by fear is the norm, we are frantically scrambling to stay “on top of things,” and increasingly unable to let go of our desires to control every situation. It’s as if we were all intravenously hooked up to a vile mix of Kool-Aid and coffee. (Upon reflection, that is precisely what a lot of energy drinks are, isn’t it?)
Maybe all of this is just me projecting my own frustrations upon the world, but from where I stand things seem rather stressed over the last few years. Maybe death is not what it’s about, but with the pandemic, death certainly has been in the limelight.
Regardless of whether death is at the core of this, it’s worth reflecting on the fact that we are all going to die someday. Death comes to us all eventually.
Don’t get me wrong, death is sad. I have never cried like I cried when my grandmother died passed away 2 years ago. It took me by surprise; I didn’t expect it, but it is alright to cry when we lose someone we love. Obviously. It’s as natural to be sad when we lose someone as death itself is natural. It’s part of how we learn to value life. But this is precisely my grievance here; as it stands, we don’t value life; we revile death.
We go to enormous lengths to control every circumstance, to make ourselves safe. Fair enough, there are many dangerous things in this world, and life is certainly something worth holding onto. But when we are working at jobs we don’t like, locking ourselves in our houses, afraid to speak to strangers, afraid to make the tiniest of changes for the uncertainty change represents, sick for lack of exercise, and sick for lack of deep connection and relationships, being fed mindless drivel and pipedreams through our various devices, what are we really holding on to?
I’ve heard it argued many times before: but fear is good, it protects us. No, wariness is good, care is good, fear distorts, paralyses and kills.
The ancient philosophers and stoics of Greece and the Roman Empire had a saying — memento mori/remember death — aimed at reminding us we are mortal and that we are all going to die one day. Most of us seem to want to forget, but I think it’s important to remember. Without death, life itself loses meaning. And lately, life seems like it’s losing its meaning for many of us.
I would like to see us collectively focusing more on how we can live our lives meaningfully, and comparatively less on how we can micromanage our lives to avoid death. We cannot live our lives by fear. Before death consumes us, we should at least try to live our lives.
6th May 2021
