Do You Know Who You Are?
When I was 18, I watched a movie about a girl overcoming a breakup by “finding herself” through a hiking trip, meeting new people, and getting a new apartment. I naively thought, “Is that how you find yourself? Just go on a trip? Easy!” I followed, embarking on a solo trip, meeting new faces, and completing a short trek. Upon returning, I felt more in tune with myself and believed I was close.
Yet, six years later, I’m still on this quest of self-discovery.
What does “finding oneself” truly mean? Are we that lost?
I later realized that self-discovery isn’t a crash course featuring a mountain trek. It’s not about mountains, beaches, or breakups. These are merely the backdrops against which we attempt to understand our true selves.
Many people spend their lives running from their true selves. They fulfill others’ expectations, pursue wrong careers, marry incompatible partners, and never pause to ask, “What do I want? What’s my purpose? Who am I? Who do I aspire to be?” In their final years, facing mortality, they’re consumed by rage, resentment, and regret.
Why do they choose to live like that instead of their authentic selves?
Because it’s easier. Knowing yourself and your desires means pursuing them regardless of others’ approval or support — a nightmare!
Don’t you think, It’s simpler to understand others than yourself? But why? Aren’t we in control of our minds and bodies? How is it that we don’t know ourselves and must embark on a journey of self-discovery?
Perhaps understanding someone from an external perspective is simple; we perceive them through the lens of our own values. Self-assessment, however, is complex due to our inherent biases.
Trying to understand who you are — your values, character, and life goals — isn’t even the ultimate goal.
The real aim is to understand yourself and then become who you want to be.
A mountain hike merely provides space for reflection, and the calmness lets you contemplate. Meeting new people just offers new perspectives. Breakups are something that gets you out of your comfort zone by bombarding weird emotions.
But “finding yourself” rests entirely on your shoulders. And it’s one hell of a journey.
