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Don’t Accept the Answers If You’re Not Allowed to Ask the Questions
Questions are a critical means of maintaining control over chaos
It was my first day as an assistant professor in a doctoral program of clinical psychology. I was assigned the seminar specializing in testing kids. A few weeks out, I was confident, almost cocky. I had dozens of pages of notes and counted myself fully prepared. There wasn’t a question I couldn’t handle or an answer I couldn’t give.
The showdown
The 12 students filed in and found seats around the table. They looked tired and overwhelmed. “Don’t worry,” I smiled. “There’s no such thing as a stupid question.”
It took no time for me to learn that this was a big lie. My favorites were, “Do you grade on a curve?” and “Who cuts your hair?” I chalked them up as harmless “anxiety” questions.
I dove into my notes — facts, figures, data, which they scribbled furiously. Thirty minutes in, I realized something important — I was boring myself! I asked questions. They answered them. They looked anxious as hell, and I realized that they had their first contact with child patients the next day.
