Life In Balance
Don’t wait for them. Run!
Lessons from undergoing training as a warden, in my 20s…
Last night I recalled these events. There were hidden messages in my former trainers’ way of coaching me. It contained life lessons I did not see along the years when I used to work behind bars as a warden. Like some of you who wrote about “XX matters you wished you were told when you were XX years old,” I wished I had seen these hidden messages behind the pieces of training earlier in my 20s. Let’s begin.
The story
We ran up hills and down slopes around the private houses in my 20s.
“Go! Go! Go!…” he yelled.
He targeted the guys and those who progressed well. He focused on women who were like warriors. As for the rest? Well, as long as they graduate — a pass-out parade — that was enough.
After months of running without waiting for anyone, I grew bored. One evening, I decided to slow down. I waited for the usual packs of buddies. The fastest girl was with them as a motivator. The trainer yelled at me.
“Hey, you woman! RUN NOW! Don’t wait for them! Go, run and catch up with the guys!”
I looked behind and saw the group of women unmotivated to run. I wasn’t expecting the trainer to detour either.
“If you are not going to leave them and run ahead, I will make sure when you get back to the camp, you will get it from me! Still not listening?” he yelled at me.
That was the common narrow mind of lesser intelligent people. They liked to use threats because they wanted to feel empowered and feared by others.
Off I went sprinting away to catch up with the group of guys who slowed down. They took advantage of the time the trainer detoured to find the group of women who lagged behind.
“Damned him!…” I said to myself.
The training brought out my brown bear attitude. You got to forget about being a woman. Think and act like a man. The specialist commander who took us for the re-assessment said to the trainer a year later.
“Who is that woman? She is familiar. She is damn good. You trained her well.”
The trainer came to me with a big smile from ear to ear, shook my hands, and said “Thank you so much. The commander said you did very well. Thanks a lot.”
When your trainees, disciples or juniors did well, you were deemed to have succeeded.
I did not enjoy that traineeship under his tactical guidance and physical training activities compared to other trainers. Don’t get me wrong. In my 20s, I loved staying fit and petite.
The lessons he left were remarkable…
Sometimes in life, you got to run the race and take care of yourself 1st because nobody else will wait for you or take care of you.
If I had joined along with those who ran at a slower pace, I would never be improving my running speed. I was not a fantastic runner, but my progress was unexpected for someone who had a lungs issue — asthma. It was all good.
My mistake was believing that life opportunities would come by taking turns among people. You know, the waiting list?…
- You are new. Let the older workers study 1st. [delay gratifications]
- Take turns. Let your siblings complete their studies first. [deceptional lies]
- Marry and give birth 1st. You can study later. [excuses to dim hope]
- Everyone starts from the bottom as an assistant and associate. [screw ‘em]
- [insert the manipulative reasons you fell into]
Older generations usually buy time with excuses because they knew that it would be a matter of time your dreams would die. They reached the age of retirement where everything turned philosophical. Their time for action had long been over. They relented to circumstances.
But, does that mean your younger age now should end in “retirement”?
Now, you need to find the balance here, too. You do not run the race in everything leaving everyone behind all the time.
If you do that, sooner or later, you would only have yourself to count on. You become selfish with continuous wants and gained more enemies instead of friendships. Life is not a game of grabbing the candy bag and ghosting everyone. Don’t be greedy. Don’t be stingy, especially with your own blood ties. Don’t always be expecting to receive than giving.
Let me carry on with the messages hidden in my training days…
After you run the race ahead of everyone and achieve your dreams, take time and reflect on who were the people at every station in your life who helped you to get there. They don’t owe you life.
But in due respect, you should be grateful. You don’t achieve something and walked off as if everyone’s life was indebted to you. Remember you are nothing without them.
When you finished the race and grabbed your trophy, remember to run back and look for people who need your help. Pick up those people behind you.
Often an ungrateful person feels their own elderly or siblings who were lower qualified and poorer were a shame to them. They helped others who are not from close blood ties.
They held their in-laws high like trophies but treated and looked at their own parents as junk and garbage cans. They become ashamed of their parents and pushed the caregiving to the other siblings.
They only needed to transfer money and pretend to care via phone calls. Remember your origins. You can’t change your lineage even after you are married.
Now, I hope for you to have blessed openings in your path. Go run your race ahead of everyone. Remember to come back and cheer on the others after you finished your race. Look for your team! Don’t ditch them.
