Downsizing in Midlife: Addressing Emotions

If you’re a practical person, you can start with downsizing things around you by following innumerable how-to guides available online. Most likely your dilemma then would be something like this: Should I start downsizing my house room-wise or category-wise? Does this need to be donated or discarded?

Not bad, right? For others, who are emotional (I think I am ‘just about’), we need to address this subject foremost. There’s no point doing things half- or no-heartedly. This goes for everything — be it exercising, eating right or sleeping well.

I have a few possessions of my late father that I hold very dearly. They are luckily small in size, trinkets, so I know that carrying them with me from one place to another won’t be a big thing.

My late father’s penstand — one of my favorite possessions (photo by author)

But then we get attached to so many other things too for so many other reasons. Keeping them is not an option.

Here are five tips to get you started to address emotions when downsizing in midlife:

1. Be Gentle with Yourself: As you begin the downsizing process, accept it that it is normal to experience a range of emotions and that it is okay to feel sentimental. Don’t restrain yourself. Experience them without judging yourself.
2. Start with Positive Memories: Begin downsizing with items that induce positive memories rather than with those items that are associated with more challenging emotions. Work your way up to build momentum and confidence.
3. Take Breaks When Needed: If emotions become overpowering, take a break! In fact, take many breaks. Collect yourself. Do you like to play music? Get out? I can imagine taking many coffee breaks while doing this! In fact I like playing some nice music — Queen, Abba, Def Leppard, Bee Gees, Blondie (usually on my Bluetooth speaker) in the background. Engage in things that comfort you. And then come back and resume.
4. Take Photos of Sentimental Items: If you’re struggling to let go of certain items, take their photos to preserve the memories. This way you wouldn’t have to keep physical objects. I do this all the time, else imagine my house with all the pictures/sketches that my daughter has been sketching since she was three! I love her doodles and I wish I could preserve them for life. But then that would mean a house full of papers, leaving no place to walk!

One of the random doodles that my daughter made recently; I took a picture of it immediately to preserve it (photo by author)

5. Practice Gratitude and Letting Go: As you declutter, express gratitude for the memories associated with items. There are clothes that I have worn year after year. And when I part with them, I always say a thank you. Likewise, for my other items. I have realized that letting go can be liberating and lead to personal growth and new experiences.

The above are just a few tips to address emotions while downsizing in midlife. Some I have been practicing and some I intend to. These tips would make the whole downsizing process a cherishing experience. As we age, we keep on collecting memories. Addressing them mindfully will lead to a fulfilling and nurturing experience. Let’s revive and thrive. If you have tips, do share them in the comments box.