Dreams and Goals Are Overrated
Focus on Process Instead
I grew up in a town that loved basketball. My friends idolized and adored NBA players and dreamed of becoming great like them. We all desired this. But we did nothing about it other than playing basketball at recess or joining the school team.
Except for one kid.
This guy didn’t just dream of being an outstanding basketball player. He ordered his life in a way that made him great. Before school, he would wake up early and shoot baskets outside. When he got to school, he started challenging kids to 1–1 games before the bell rang. At lunch, while the rest of us mustered up the courage to talk to girls in our Jnco’s, he was by himself, shooting baskets. After school he would go home and practice more, creating his own drills.
The dream was the same for everyone. The process was different for one person.
We all have dreams and visions and desires. Many of us don’t have a process in place to get us there. That’s a problem.
Because the process you engage with determines the person you become.
Instant Satisfaction or Compounding Pennies?
You may have heard this anecdote before, but it’s worth hearing again:
Would you rather have 1 million dollars right now or 1 penny that doubles each day for a month? I would take a million dollars. I would ask to receive it in gold coins and create a Scrooge McDuck swimming pool and dive deep.
But the penny, doubling each day, is engaging in a powerful process of exponential and compounding growth. At the end of 30 days, the penny would be worth 4 million dollars.
Now, I’m not an economics major or math whiz. I’m sure this concept is an over-simplification and has flaws. But this principle is illuminating.
We crave instant transformation. We’ve seen the before and after pictures of people who have lost 100 lbs in a month. The stories of overnight success and instant change.
But powerful and lasting change happens gradually. The slight changes and habits we employ become a process. This process compounds and creates massive long-term transformation.
The Problem With Dreams and Goals
At the beginning of the year, how many people have the dream of losing weight and being healthy? 80% of people? A sizeable amount.
How many people accomplish these dreams after 10 months? 10%? A small amount.
Dreams and goals are good. We need a vision to help give us purpose and direction. The problem is we put our focus in the wrong place. With health, the focus shouldn’t be on the scale or a random number. It should be in the daily process. Did I do my daily exercise? Did I stick to this weekly amount of calories?
This isn’t just external goals. This is for our internal and spiritual growth as well. Do you want to become more patient? Less anxious? More hopeful?
Do you think one book will create this change? One meditation session or one retreat?
We transform our internal life through a daily process of discipline and practice.
Everyone has dreams and goals. Not everyone has a consistent process.
Your Instagram Addiction Is Forming Something In You
If you scroll Instagram and Facebook for an hour a day. This adds up to 365 hours in a year. That’s math I can do. 365 hours of practicing. Practicing what? Seeing people’s highlight reels? Practicing being distracted? Numbing yourself from the pain or fear you feel? Wishing you looked like her or could go on that kind of vacation?
Are we aware of what this is forming in us? What kind of person are we becoming as we practice the art of scrolling?
Awareness is the first step to change.
Open your eyes to your daily practices. Where do you spend your time? What habits do you engage in day in and day out, without realizing it?
Changing Our Process Is Hard
“An object in motion tends to stay in motion, an object at rest tends to stay at rest.” Newton
I didn’t Google that quote; I memorized it years ago because my teachers told me to. Newton and his apple are meaningful to me. It’s a principle I think about a lot.
Every time we taught one of our kids to walk, it was comical. They stumble around, drunk and clumsy, struggling with something so easy for the rest of us. After a couple of months practicing, it becomes natural. They don’t think about it, or step carefully. They have become “walkers.” The process is ingrained in their brains.
But at first, it’s hard. Stopping inertia. Changing direction. Stopping one process and starting another. It takes energy and effort.
A process is a string of habits. Habits are actions that become ingrained in our daily life. These habits were once hard, but now they are second nature. To change a habit requires a lot of energy, but over time, it will stick.
Process is Repetition
That’s what a process is, right? Practicing basketball once a week is a hobby. Practicing basketball daily is a process.
Whatever your vision is, it won’t happen in a few moments. The transformation will take place by repeating and repeating and repeating.
Fall In Love With Becoming, Over Instant Satisfaction
“The most important thing in your life is not what you do; it’s who you become.” Dallas Willard.
I go back to this quote again and again. Our society is one result. What have you accomplished and achieved?
That’s not process thinking. That’s results thinking.
When I see my life as a gradual process of becoming, I can slow down. I can remain patient and stop comparing myself to others. I can stop obsessing with the scale or beating myself up when I lose my cool.
I can simply come back to the practice. Day in and day out.
Dreams and goals are overrated. Take those dreams and turn them into a process.
