Engagement Shenanigans

At around 2:59 am on last Saturday, a girlfriend of mine called me. I was in the middle of such a beautiful dream wherein mid-15th century I was taken by The Ottoman Empire from one of those European countries, from our small pig farm. I wasn’t necessarily pleased about the kidnapping but the thought of taking over the palace and especially the Harem was exhilarating. I could rise to the top, I thought.

Anyway, when I heard my phone ringing I heard my friend’s voice and truthfully I am not a very nice person when I just wake up. I think she sensed it and started mumbling some stuff that I…