Every Spouse needs a “Sidepiece ”
Shared passions preserve marital spark
AS WE ALL KNOW, marriage is and will always be a prestigious, dignified institution. Sometimes, attending a wedding ceremony inspires marital aspirations or renewal of vows. It is the ultimate celebration of love, and these days, every marriage is copacetic on social media. Usually, it is during the divorce era that dreadful secrets come to light, such as the presence of a sidepiece, a shadowy, sleek seducer that constantly fulfilled the marital needs of the indulgent spouse, or how some unconventional arrangement was a prerequisite for the union, i.e., “I can marry you, but I can not sleep with only you.” Nice way to go, guys!
No one wants a cheating spouse. The research is clear. A major cause of divorce is infidelity. Everyone wants to be sufficient for their partner. Unfortunately, not every partner has the discipline to remain faithful, and infidelity has gradually become a mainstay in modern relationships. Hence, some couples have developed rules to protect themselves from adultery and STDs. These informal rules stem from open marriages, vetted side pieces to throuples, and polyamorous relationships.
Yet adultery festers. Maybe it’s because of boredom or outworldly expectations — who knows at this point? Incontrovertibly, every marriage requires work. Like a job, you have to work earnestly to get paid. But when you find the job unappealing, you would long for something better, akin to what happens when the spark in a relationship diminishes. Some couples endure and attempt to reignite it, some divorce, and others search for love in strange places. With the rapid failure of marriages, infidelity is seemingly the norm. That’s unless you find something, not someone, that ignites a passion within you and utilize it as your sidepiece.
Your sidepiece can be a side hustle, a hobby, or a passion, which, due to life’s curveball, was stalled for other commitments. Usually, marriage counsellors advise that beyond compatibility, couples should find and share common passions with their spouse. It’s as simple as jogging or cooking together, starting a joint venture, or a blog or podcast, travelling, etc, as long as it engenders excitement and elation. These common interests provide a bonding experience, create marital rituals, and preclude external distractions as couples are constrained by something that brings them comfort.
Also, having other commitments reduces your sexual urge. Yes, we all need to blow off steam, but your partner is not a machine designed solely for sexual satisfaction. They have goals and dreams, and sometimes, they may require some quiet time. You can not use momentary or temporary disinclination to indulge your sexual urge as a pretext for cheating. Instead, engage yourself with something productive. Yoga, gym, outdoor sports, or profitable hobbies help to create a healthy lifestyle outside of your sexual proclivities. But ensure that whatever hobby or habit you incorporate as a sidepiece does not encumber your couple goals (including your sex life).
Adultery is not worth it. It evinces a lack of self-respect, fealty, honesty, integrity, and accountability. It is delusional to assume that your spouse can stimulate goosebumps every day. You must choose to preserve the union by working together and discovering healthy hobbies or passions. They are better sidepieces. They fortify harmonious cohabitation and sometimes add passive income to the union. Moreso, they can save you from future mishaps that culminate into broken homes, emotional trauma (especially for the kids), and divorce fees.
