Evolving
A girl of sixteen, who cried over trivial things, small fights, and harsh words, evolved. This is her story. Many of you have that same story that this girl has and she will narrate your experience through her words and if she can evolve then you can evolve too.
I remember that I was once the most sensitive and least talkative in my group of friends. Many of my friends would at times take great advantage of my quietness. More than being quiet, I didn’t know how to respond if someone was rude to me. Let’s call it the simplicity of a child at that age but for a long time, I wasn’t able to overcome the fear of not being able to put my point in front of a whole group of people. It is very recent when I realized that people who can’t use their words to at least protect themselves have no survival in this world because when I looked around then I came to realize that: “People used their words not to express themselves but either to influence or hurt others.”
The experience hurts more than anything but then it teaches the techniques of survival. A very few people follow simplicity in their lives and this simplicity is more complicated to get than a complicated nature. But that does not mean that we have to leave our simplicity behind to match with the doings of the world.
I had a friend in my early childhood who would always poke me for what I did and I was always teased. Back then, I cared even more for the existence of “friends” in my life. Everyone had their own stories of becoming best friends and I was the one who was always left alone because of the way I was. I couldn’t speak bad about people behind their back. I couldn’t let their secrets out because I always tried maintaining a very pure bond with all the people I met. But that sometimes became my weakness. The girl who was rude to me always made me cry and I couldn’t even answer her back. Some people may call it cowardice and that’s true. I wasn’t bold and on top of that I broke down after listening to her harsh words.
But then I transformed not in a way that I started getting into fights but I started to keep my point in a way that was not harsh from my end. It is never bad to speak up for ourselves in such situations. But in a tense situation, it is best to put our point calmly and walk out. I am proud of the fact that I am always in control of myself in such situations because the words of my mother are embedded in my mind. She always taught me that: “If someone is bombarding fireballs on you; you ought to become ice to take up that harshness because always remember that the one spilling fire on you has to burn themselves in the first place even before it affects you. But if you act the same way as the other person then both of you will be burned nothing except for ashes will be left.”
In real, living through the pain and intensity of harsh words made me feel bad for such people who utter such things from their mouth because they are so unfortunate and forced of their habit of speaking ill of and for people that they have forgotten the worth of sweetness. But my habit of forgiving such people leaves me unbothered about whatever happened in the past. I know that such people would never actually ask me to forgive them but it’s just me who has to tell myself that I forgave them. With this one sentence, I am freed from the vicious cycle of pain which could have encircled me.
That’s why I upgraded my quiet and simple nature to another level by walking out from the company of such people and then forgiving them from the heart. Because I feel that:
“Forgiveness is something that will never let me down even if I feel like it is; it will always uplift me. The one who did wrong to me may someday realize their deed or pay for their past actions but on my part rests the ability to let go of all grudges and hard feelings for someone. Through forgiveness I let these negative feelings go which could have degraded me more if they stayed with me.”
In the end, I have understood that changing according to ways of the world is transformation but enhancing myself with the world is evolution. I don’t necessarily need to change to survive but I will evolve if I learn to survive.
