Extreme Loudness in Silence
An ode to the chaotic but predictable human nature.
Whether you read and understood the title as there being silence in extreme loudness or you understood it as the deafening loudness brought about by silence, I meant both.
After all, it isn’t what I say that matters, it’s what you understand from it. As a random person just blurting out thoughts, I don’t matter much in the grand scheme of things, the web of intricate inputs that make up who you are.
I couldn’t make up my mind on what I meant, and I couldn’t make up my mind on what to speak about. Although it’s unadvisable to make titles ambiguous from a writer's perspective, I just couldn’t give the title up. I apologize.
I often just sit, staring into space, head in hand, listening to the fading sound of people speaking around me. I wonder if that’s appropriate, sinking into the comfort of the silence, while wondering what everyone is so happy or sad about.
I filter all voices, all the noise, but then find myself trying to bear the loudness of the silence, how heavy it weighs on the mind. I wish for nothing more than to float in the nothingness, to shower in oblivion, but alas, the silence is loud, and the world is unaccepting.
If only oblivion was a woman, I would seek her embrace, enveloped in her tranquility for eternity.
I’ve always found the machinations of the human mind fascinating. What I wouldn’t give to be able to take a sneak peek at the mind of an interesting person? The sea of conscious thoughts and the great ocean of the subconscious.
Since mind reading is impossible, or at least I think it is, I’ve chosen the second-best method of studying human psychology. To get a glimpse of the motivators and the triggers of the behaviors that appear so random at first glance.
But upon investigation, which is just me asking a lot of people a lot of questions, and learning techniques on how to get them to tell me what I want to know and how to analyze that, I’ve concluded.
The human mind, although appears random, is not random at all. It is mostly chaotic. There’s a distinct difference between chaotic and random behavior.
Random behavior, as its name suggests, doesn’t depend on anything. It isn’t deterministic, and can’t be predicted. So, “random”.
Chaotic behavior, on the other hand, is deterministic. Although unpredictable due to its heavy dependence on initial conditions. There is usually a way to determine reactions based on known inputs.
It is from chaotic behavior the term “butterfly effect” was coined. Since a little change in initial inputs may lead to a very different scenario or in this case, behavior.
So, human behavior may appear random, but it never is. It’s all dependent on initial conditions, and the environment. Although piecing together may be difficult, it’s still possible, and can most certainly be influenced.
PS: Apologies if I’ve been selfish in this piece, it's unlike me. But let it go this once. It’s my birthday after all, and this piece is all I can afford to gift myself.
Follow if you enjoy pieces like this. And make sure to share your thoughts, I’m very interested. You can think of it as participating in an experiment if that fascinates you.
