Feeling stupid is part of life
Feeling stupid is humbling learning experience
Today’s culture has the word perfection to an extreme. Everywhere you look, it almost never shows the real person. It always shows some auto-generated beautification that we taught our so called “AI” powered image filters.
We have a way of wanting the validation of others without question. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we need that validation?
As the year comes to an end, I’ve come to question some of our decisions. Some reactions we have made simply because of the state of our emotions at the time.
How many people have we managed to hurt? How many people have we asked forgiveness from that will never forgive us? How many times have I hurt myself. Have I forgiven myself? Will I ever?
How many times did I tirade myself for the “stupid” decisions I’ve made, yet forgotten to praise myself for the good ones? How many times I’ve done the same to others that I care about?
Can I be forgiven?
One of the songs by Tahsan Khan sings about the last days of one’s life. It talks about how many people he was a positive presence for.
Also talks about how many people one has hurt. At the end of your life, what will be that balance? At one’s deathbed, the balance of who you have helped, and who you have hurt should come front and centre.
So the question I ask for myself, what have I done to anyone that has caused them harm? Have I done enough good, that my presence has increased something for someone? Has my presence served as a positive force in someone’s life?
If I look at myself in the mirror and ask the famous question that Steve jobs asks, will my answer be what I want? or will it be that “I got to change something”?
The famous question
Off course the question I’m talking about is the one he mentioned on his famous graduation ceremony speech.
For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. — Steve Jobs
To be honest, in the past few weeks, I’ve started the ponder above. and at least a few days, the answer has been a “No”.
Trouble is, what can I be doing or working towards that can change that answer to a “Yes”. What is my true calling for happiness? I don’t think it’s any of my outside environment.
I’ve not found my true inner happiness. I don’t know why. I’ve got an amazing wife and kids. I live in one of the best countries in the world. I work for one of the best companies in Canada.
I suppose when I think about it, I feel like I’ve reached my peak at my current life. I feel like I have much more to offer. However, I have not figured out what that “much more” is. What do I have to offer that I haven’t yet offered?
What value do I offer so I can be forgiven for my mistakes? What can I do, to be a true positive force in someone’s life, especially my family’s?
What can I do to not cause any more harm to people (if I have caused it).
What can I do to change my answer to the above question to “yes” every day?
Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me. — Steve Jobs
Again I quote Steve Jobs, but the man was a genius. I am just an average joe. I don’t know what I’ll be doing in 5 years, but I can be sure of this, it will mean I’m a positive force for at least 1 person.
