Finding shelter at the storm’s place!
Storms are kind. Did you know this?
Every time I have been haunted by the demons inside me, I have this habit of running away. So far that I am unable to track parts of myself for days. Years. Even today, I am looking for them. Looking in known and unknown places. They were terribly terrified when they left. I wonder if they would have recovered to some extent at least or are dead altogether. Fear thrashed my trust on the face of the sidewall. Guilt had choked the breath of my Now. Regret punched on the nose of self-confidence. I felt incomplete and longed for the lost parts of myself.
Phew! But I intelligently managed to keep some hope and courage to shield myself from the World outside. It is difficult to survive with fewer weapons though. With them, I started off my journey of healing. Mindfulness, Exercise, Affirmations, Writing my heart out, Gratitude Journals, Reading miraculous stuff that I didn’t know existed, was to name a few. And today, with a smiling face I can assure you, I have come a long way on the path of self-growth, awareness, and improvements. Things outside might not have changed but the perception to see them now has definitely been altered. Unlearning took the front seat. Introspection and reflection have found some space in my being.
It’s rightfully said that ‘The only way out is through.
It’s not easy. Healing and transformation require going back to those storms and getting back the missing parts of ourselves. And even this thought of meeting the demons again shakes you to the core. But the understanding gained over the period of the healing process gives you the power to gather and fix yourself back to a transformed whole.
I’ll share with you one such meeting. It was with Fear. It had taken away the biggest part of myself. I was unable to trust anyone. Including my own self. I was anxious and negative 24×7. Over-thinking was what I was living on.
So, when I felt it was high time, I knocked on its door. As the door opened, storms of fear came thundering upon me. I was strong and aware. I didn’t fall. I was very much glued to that spot of the entrance. After a few minutes, there was silence. I could hear my heart, beating. Beating deeply. It was different.
I went inside and was surprised to see the parts of me which were timid and tiny when got separated, were now fully grown up. They seemed strong and fearless. And had become the source of bright golden light to the world outside.
Fear had made my fearful bits, fearless. Wow! Exclusive and unexpected.
I was shaken so that I can shine. Everybody was on my side. Everything is/was happening for me. My growth.
You got to hit the rock bottom so that you can push yourself up on the surface. The former is not what we choose though, but the latter is in our control. And this time on the surface, the light within shines brighter than the one outside. Because it was all we had in our low times. And so now, we recognize it, honour it and live through it. It’s enough to light up the whole World.
A life comes into being to experience and evolve. Let it be love and freedom.
