For a Woman Who Has Never Dated
Why Haven’t I Been Asked Out Yet?
I am 26 years old, and I have never been asked on a date.
The admission of this nowadays, is usually a big burden of shame, embarrassment, and insecurity.
I’ve been through these emotions deeply.
It was discouraging to discover that I was being used by the guys just to help me to connect with my friends.
I used to feel the hurt of shame when I was never invited to high school dances.
I felt so ignored and unappreciated by guys which made me even more insecure. Although I had some times when guys confessed their feelings or asked me to hang out, they never kept their word.
Some would keep me going, but when they thought I had no more to offer, they would disappear.
I have been through the pain of being ignored and abandoned, while watching my friends getting the most attention and affection just because they were considered more usually attractive.
If you, like me, have been through the same thing, I feel your pain.
Nobody should be made to feel that they are not human being or be abused in this manner.
Challenging False Narratives
It becomes gradually more and more difficult not to collect the negative thoughts that are constantly going on in our heads.
Therefore, we make up such thoughts as we are not attractive enough or too something, but these are all lies.
The fact is, our dating status is not simply about our apparent intelligence, beauty, or talents.
People with different backgrounds and personalities love each other, so it is not true to say that our lack of romantic interest is due to our personal flaws.
Relationships are not something that we can obtain; they are treasures.
We are not the ones that are determined by the thoughts or the way others treat us.
It is permanent and does not alter, not even in the presence of any external factors.
The worth and dignity that we have inherited from our creator, who views us as more precious than the most beautiful natural phenomena.
Choosing Whose Voice Matters
In the end, we are the ones who can choose the people whose voices are heard in our lives.
Will we be open to the human-made flawed perceptions or to the divine confirmation of our worth?
While this choice isn’t always easy, there are some guiding principles to remember:
- Self-Worth Beyond Relationships: Our worth isn’t associated with our relationship status.
- Singleness Doesn’t Define Us: Whatever the situation, we are still the same person, single or in a relationship. Singleness doesn’t indicate our beauty or personality. Deny the idea that the single lifestyle is bad.
- The Myth of Relationship Fulfillment: Relationships don’t guarantee happiness. They shouldn’t be the sole provider for our desires.
- Personal Growth and Development: Try to be the person you want to be in the future partner. Concentrate on the self-improvement and the personal development.
- Quality matters over quantity: We need only one, but not multiple superficial, relationships.
- Trust Journey: Don’t settle. Belief in a good reason pushing you to the direction of your happiness.
Through the acceptance of these facts, we can easily deal with the dating and relationships challenges and in the same way, we can be sure of ourselves.
