Overcoming Public Speaking Fear
Friend’s Kind Gesture Helped Me Overcome My Public Speaking Fear
Think Big, Start Small
“A speech is like a love affair. Any fool can start it, but to end, it requires considerable skill.” — Lord Mancroft
Going Through Reticence:
Public Speaking isn’t my forte — that’s what I used to think my entire school life. Even standing in front of the whole class was a grueling task for me.
I was reserved to the extent that I even lacked the courage to look straight at my teacher’s face — just in case they might shoot some random question at me for which I would be grossly unprepared and probably be humiliated, you know the whole spiel.
And even if I did know the answer, I would probably end up doing the same thing — dip my head down and pretend to be focusing on my textbook to avoid getting his/her attention.
Interestingly, this shy me was quite the opposite of whom I’d always desired to be. My longing desire to be an exceptional speaker always seemed rather vague, and it never seemed to unfold even when my crave for public speaking kept growing.
Notably, there was one brilliant friend of mine whom I’d always been impressed with because of his impromptu way of speaking and his way of confidently dealing/tackling any questions.
I was often dispirited, realizing that it takes a great deal of time and effort to reach that level, and my internal thought process asserted that I am not worthy enough to give a try. So my intuitive understanding of public speaking never being my strength was a definite barricade.
In short, my mental stigma was acting as a roadblock, and although I wanted to take some actions —I was just complicit with my own “thoughts and prayers” to myself for a long period of time.
The Tipping Point
The frustration was always there. I was tired of getting older but not getting better at public speaking at all. Maybe I also noticed one too many great public speakers and not being one of them eventually pushed me towards taking some action. I was determined to prepare hard and leave no stone unturned.
Sometimes, motivation comes from dark moments in our lives, I believe that as long as we can flip it around and score a win, all is well.
One morning, I woke up early and started studying The Modern Periodic Table — a table organized to provide a great deal of information about elements and how they relate to one another in one easy-to-use reference — basic chemistry stuff.
It was a new chapter, which was planned to be covered by the teacher the very next day.
The teacher would always ask any of his students to speak something about the topic he was going to cover that day. It was a routine task.
With that in mind, I went through a series of rehearsals. I continued practicing until I got to a point where I built enough confidence and comfort.
As predicted, the very next day, the assumed circumstances got put into an actual stretch.
As soon as the teacher entered the class, he put forward a question —
“Anybody willing to come forward to speak about The Modern Periodic Table?”
It’s Time!
And it was a resounding, yes! That came from my inner heart, and I only had to put it in action and say it out loud.
Knowing that it was the exact moment that I was prepared for, it was the time for me to shine.
Yet, for another instant of time, a few milliseconds perhaps, I was tempted back to the same old state, i.e., dipping my head down and let other friends take the lead on this.
Fortunately, this time around, the scenario took a U-turn. I thought of the burden of regret that would be waiting for me if I didn't act right then. So my body kicked into autopilot. I raised my arm before anyone did.
The teacher was momentarily surprised to see a new face coming upfront but was kind enough to cheer me up and give me the space to speak in front of the class. At that exact moment, time froze. I didn’t think of winning or losing. I didn’t think. It was surreal.
Breaking the space-time fabric of a reality where I couldn’t speak in mass, I began to speak in front of all. Rekindling those moments, I don’t remember the exact content I was presenting. However, I still clearly remember that I was observing my friend’s expression to see how they perceived my presentation.
Even when everything was going well, I was constantly in fear of losing my grip and freezing up.
There was one particular moment, though, that finally put an end to all those inhibitions and doubts.
The good friend of mine whom I endorsed highly, as mentioned earlier, was listening actively and attentively. Contemplating his expressions, he was unfailingly kind and considerate. That’s a courtesy that even best of friends don’t share for one another, and yet he was just a good friend of mine.
Maybe, it was in his nature to observe everything so keenly, which for sure was one of the reasons why he was excellent at what he did — public speaking.
Although it did surprise me initially, I just took it as a green light that I was going well on track. Still, I didn’t allow myself to get too distracted by that and kept my focus on the task on hand.
Finally, after quite a struggle, just as I was about to end my delivery, guess what the friend did?
Right after I completed my speech, he was kind enough to initiate the applaud, piercing the silence of the audience.
Following him, the whole class continued with the applause.
Right at that moment, I felt — Wow! What was that?
I loved the thrill and the taste of the apparent success.
Then, there was some Q/A round afterwards, where I went through a couple of questions from my teacher and friends, and since I had prepared well for it, it wasn’t hard for me to tackle those.
Some Snake In The Grass 🐍!
Well, it’s not always the case you’ll ever get the right support from all your friends. While I was speaking, a couple of friends were teasing me by mimicking my gestures(😉😉Pandey)and laughing off on my effort. But that wasn’t something that I paid attention to and quickly turned a blind eye to it.
For me, I was enjoying the highlight; sensation of overcoming my fear. Whether it was good or bad, I was content with myself — because I did the best I could.
And from how my teacher and friends responded, I knew it played out well.
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Although that class amassed a small number of students, it was adequate to start off with my confidence journey.
Gradually over time, that confidence persisted over larger crowds, where I have been able to speak with greater assurance.
Even during my undergraduate degree program, I handled many public speaking sessions, seminars, and programs. It has proven to help me speak and build an engaging audience. It’s true that the more you engage within various platforms, the better you become in this realm.
Public Speaking, like any other learning, is a never-ending journey.
If you keep up in pace, you will get a good hold on it. But as soon as you start to loosen up your grip, you will fall short of skills, even the existing ones you’d once developed.
So make use of any opportunity that comes in hand because it gives you the chance to practice what you have learned and get better at it every time.
Wrapping Up:
Confidence is the key, but it’s not only the part of the framework that lets you hit the public speaking journey’s milestone. There are many aspects that you need to care about, which takes years and years of practice.
And it’s always better to help others who are starting this journey because a small contribution from your side can make a whole lot of difference in someone’s thinking.
As we live in a world that grows together by helping one another, we should always follow the principle of reciprocity by helping others and asking for their help if required.
To get more detailed and practical advice — I have tried best to cover it in more detail here.
As of now would like to end my story here.
Thank you for reading this far!
