Fuck You Patrick

M contra Patrick

Patrick M. Ohana
Published in
3 min readFeb 3, 2021


GIF by Basile Morin (CC BY-SA 4.0) via Wikimedia Commons
GIF by Basile Morin (CC BY-SA 4.0) via Wikimedia Commons

This is M’s reply to Fuck You M (also linked below)

How many times were you even mentioned
Come on Patrick
Yet you’re suddenly everything
You’re nowhere in the stories
It’s always me and my fabulous narrators
I have three of them indeed
And one more coming up for a little orgy
Are you serious M
You lost it

Shut the fuck up Patrick
You mostly write short stories
and all the sad unimportant stuff
I proclaim poetry
the occasional sexy short story
and a dirty pussy ditty never hurts
Shakespeare still knows who is
and I feel at home with the Bard
Not a modern home
But some truths are eternal
One of my narrators is a woman
I wish they were all women
No pricks allowed
But I’m surely a prick
Thus there’s always a prick
waiting for the meaning of life
Did I lose it or anything
I do need more sleep
More sleep equals less real time
It’s also an existential fact
Athena already agrees
I can see it in her eyes
across waters and horizons
I can contemplate her Greek eyes
Beauty from Olympus never ceased
Nobody is buying me
I don’t remember being for sale
It’s a showing of some type
There is always news from my muse
She’s still in charge of my heart-related calls
I’m still waiting for a code blue
She’s still somewhere
in the vicinity of the Moon
Everyone should learn Greek
Γαμώτο (Fuck you)
It’s easy to gain some ground with Google Translate
and details are always available
Do I have anything else to say about myself
Fuck you M
You’re going too far

So I was actually thinking that with the fourth narrator
Let’s call her Goddess
I could indeed write an orgy
But it would be weird fucking myself
φιλί τον κώλο μου (Kiss my ass)
Another insult in Greek from quickly Google
Athena loves me and I’m harmless
She wouldn’t even let you into our world of possibilities
Almost everyone identifies me
Who the fuck is Patrick
“We always agreed on an equal split”
You had no choice
I’m the poet
You’re the taxpayer
Women tend to prefer me
I have no concerns about you
Athena has sisters
You are a mess Patrick
You need to stop writing for a while
Simply rest and have two meals a day
You’ll look about the same
I’ll write for both of us
I’ll still keep the Patrick
But I’ll mention that you took
a long sabbatical
I was actually wondering if I should drop the Patrick
or bring back my Santa Cat biopic
I decided to become more than one thing



Patrick M. Ohana

A medical writer who reads & writes fiction & some nonfiction, although the latter may appear at times like the former. https://patrick-m-ohana.anthi-and-m.com