Get rejected every day to be immune to your rejections…But
Are we really ‘immune’ though?
A Heartbreak
A friend of mine used to have a girlfriend until she broke up with him by saying, ‘You are not what I want. We are young, and I want to explore. See my options. You know?’
Umm, good for her. Yay Yay. Amazing for her self-growth. Exploration. Confidence. All in for that!
But for my friend, that was a heartbreak, a rejection.
I told him, ‘Don’t worry! You will find another girl who will love you and will choose you, forever.’
To which he replied, ‘Yes, I will. Maybe. But it won’t be this one. So, maybe I won’t care. Right?’
I gave him a sympathetic smile and offered him a beer (his favorite). He said, ‘Today, I need whiskey.’
I obliged.
A Heartbreak after 3 years
I had a job interview at a company that I always wanted to work with. I had always imagined how it would be, what I would be, and so on.
The interviewer said, ‘Well, everything seems perfect. However, I have one last question.’
‘Yes, of course’, I say after giving a genuine smile.
‘Do you have a visa or do you expect us to sponsor you?
‘Um, I have a visa left for six months. Post that, I would require a sponsorship.’
He was disappointed and rejected me there and then by saying, ‘Oh! We don’t do that. I am afraid we’ll have to keep looking for someone fit for the role.’
Yes, they have some company rules and restrictions. And that’s okay!
But… I was devastated. My roommate noticed my expression when I went back to the apartment. She asked me about it. When I explained it to her, she said, ‘Don’t worry, you will find another job that you’ll love! Better than this! Both financially and culturally.’
And then, my friend’s words dawned on me from three years ago. ‘Yes, I will. Maybe. But it won’t be this one. So, maybe I won’t care. Right?’ These are the exact words I replied with.
She told me to have some water since I was crying. I said, ‘Today, I need whiskey.’
Major Realizations…
First: Different things matter to different people. What might be soul-crunching for you might be just an ‘oops’ for others.
Second: No one can understand what you are going through unless and until the same thing happens to them. Even if they are your best friends, they won’t relate to the pain.
The last: Rejection surely shapes you and makes you who you are. But the first one takes away a lot.
And yes, multiple rejections take away something, too. But all the firsts are special, right?
Just like we need just one shot for our body to be immune to a disease, we need just one rejection to be devastated by it or be immune to it forever. The rest are just booster shots.
We hold on to that one big rejection that really mattered to us. And all our follow-up actions are just us not trying to relive it.
So, maybe we don’t have to get rejected every day because that one rejection is enough for us to make stupid decisions for the rest of our lives. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?
And maybe we should let those heartbreaks go. Or maybe not. Who knows?
Until Next Time,
Toodles!
Let me know about the time when you were rejected and it made you who you are now. And if there is anyone in this world who has not been rejected in life, you are a lucky bas-toad. Enjoy life!
