Hair is Everything! This is What Hair Means to Modern Women
Ladies had A LOT to say
As today is International Women’s Day, I want to take this opportunity to talk about one (in my opinion) very underrated aspect of womanhood, and that is hair. In preparation for this piece, I spoke with two hairstylists, gathered statements from my female friends and colleagues, and even got a haircut at my local saloon where I observed ladies getting their manes beautified.
What initially sparked my interest in talking about hair was a certain scene in the iconic TV series “Fleabag” in which Fleabag storms into the hair saloon in order to fight the injustice that had been done to her sister’s hair.
That is when we hear her say this legendary quote:
Hair is everything. We wish it wasn’t so we could actually think about something else occasionally. But it is. It’s the difference between a good day and a bad day. We’re meant to think that it’s a symbol of power, that it’s a symbol of fertility. Some people are exploited for it and it pays your f***ing bills. Hair is everything.
In this instance we do not only see the powerful female allyship where women are sticking together even through the seemingly inane issues, we also see just how much commotion a wrong hairstyle can make to a woman’s life. This made me wonder why is that. Why are we so attached to our beautiful locks or strands and where did that obsession originate?
A brief history of female hair
Hair has for centuries been seen as a symbol of strength and beauty for women. From an early age, little girls are taught to care for their hair and are praised for doing so, seeing it as yet another way of increasing their value and self-esteem. This kind of attitude spanned all over the world spreading across every single culture that ever existed. No matter what our differences may be, we all have a strong view of hair.
For instance, Indigenous people consider hair to be sacred and significant to who they are as an individual, families, and communities. In many tribes, it is believed that a person’s long hair represents a strong cultural identity. This strong cultural identity promotes self-esteem, self-respect, a sense of belonging, and a healthy sense of pride.
African-American women, who have for years been instructed to straighten their hair, either chemically or with flat irons, are now embracing their natural curls. It is evident that their sense of confidence is greatly impacted by the natural beauty of their hair.
The women in my part of the world, which is the Balkan Peninsula, also have a deep-rooted attachment to their hair. We have our traditional wreaths and braids that some women even sport to this day.
Female hair has been a fascination to many writers in my country, but one of the most famous ones was from the eminent Petar II Petrovic Njegos the Prince-Bishop of Montenegro, who was also a poet and philosopher.
In his highly-praised poem “The Mountain Wreath” he painted a picture of a woman mourning the death of her husband’s brother whilst combing her long hair and singing a sad song.
“…She heard that all in the huts were asleep.
Then she unwound her lovely wreath of hair,
and the tresses fell down below her waist.
She began to comb her hair on her breasts
and to lament in a high-pitched, clear voice, like nightingale on a tall oak-tree branch.”
During that time (circa 1847) it was common for a woman to cut her hair after losing a loved one, but this woman was instructed to grow it out for it was far too beautiful to cut.
The young woman mourned her husband’s brother,
Andrija, the son of Ban Milonjic, who met his death about a year ago,
slain by the Turks in the bloody Duga.
But the Ban would not let her cut her hair,
He pitied more his daughter-in-law’s wreath
than the head of his own son Andrija.
Hair in mythology
Hair has also made its way into a mythology where two figures come into my mind. The first was Medusa who famously had snakes for hair, and the Lady Godiva, Medusa’s polar opposite, due to her stunning golden hair and altruistic spirit.
Medusa is described as a monster with the hair of a thousand snakes. She is under a curse that causes everything she looks at to turn to stone. Cixous explains that this monstrous image of Medusa exists only because it has been directly determined by the male gaze. Once Cixous establishes that the myth of the Medusa is nothing more than a facade, she begins to question if the Medusa does in fact have the ability to turn things into stone or if her fearful imagery comes merely from our perception of her, a perception that has manifested itself from male warnings.
Lady Godiva, on the other hand, was a late Anglo-Saxon noblewoman who is mainly remembered for a legend dating back to at least the 13th century, in which she rode naked — covered only in her long hair — through the streets of Coventry to gain a remission of the oppressive taxation that her husband, Leofric, imposed on his tenants.
Hair undoubtedly stood as a symbol of unbeatable female power and beauty throughout many centuries. It was synonymous with the great resilience that women hold and that kind of stance has prevailed into the present day.
Modern women with hair
The natural sequence of this article brings us to the point of modern women and their own thoughts and feelings about their hair. This is the part where I had to consult only the best of the best, by which I mean my closest friends, colleagues, and family members.
Here is what they had to say:
Hair rules! When my hair is greasy and put up, I feel like I’m falling apart. We are incomplete without the right hairstyle. When my hair is clean and smells nice, I feel incredible. I don’t need makeup or anything else. It definitely has an impact on my confidence. I also love when someone compliments my hair.
It impacts my confidence quite a bit. Every change in my life was followed by a change in hairstyle, whether it was a change of color, length, etc. Everything was connected. That is why it has a deep meaning.
I wouldn’t be who I am without my hair. I had a period where half of it fell out during Covid and that is when I felt like a part of me disappeared. I was very insecure about my appearance. I am very attached to it. I like it long and thick. When my hair is beautiful, so am I.
Hair is very important to every woman, because it represents her style, a way of expressing her personality. As is the case with everyone when I see a reflection in the mirror of something that is beautiful, styled and just as I want it, it means something to me. That moment, very much affects the self-confidence of a woman, because for many, hair is a statement. However, as someone who has already donated one’s hair to children suffering from cancer, I have to note that this feeling of giving is really priceless and cannot replace any reflection in the mirror. So I urge all women, to do the same thing, if they can. Your wonderful hair will grow, and it can change someone’s whole life.
I’ll simply say that hair is- EVERYTHING! If my hair is styled, I can do anything. It has a great effect on my mood. I also have the ability to analyze people based on their hair. Hair speaks volumes about one’s life.
I have to just thank my wonderful women for these statements and say how beautiful their hair is! To me, each one of them is an embodiment of femininity, power, grace, resilience, and endless joy.
A word from an expert
Lastly, to close off this hairy story, I decided to turn to a professional for some words of wisdom from someone whose opinion I truly cherish, and that is a Serbian hairstylist Aleksandar Obradović. He was kind enough to spare some time to answer a few of my questions regarding his career, and views on hair, adding some great tips, too.
Aleksandar started off by remembering his first steps in hairstyling and the fear that followed it. Right before him stood the mistress of female beauty, which intimidated him quite a bit. He became more comfortable with it as the years went by. They got to know one another, grew closer, and fell in love. Many different shapes and forms began to line up towards one common goal and that is beauty.
When speaking of unforgettable moments, he told the story of shaving off the hair of a three-year-old girl who was suffering from cancer and simultaneously cheering up her parents through the process. Thankfully the little girl has completely recovered, so they get to enjoy laughter and school days.
I can never forget the moment of completely shaving off women’s hair and waiting for it to grow back again. Women have a supremely difficult time coping, but we have to focus on health.
Aleksandar also stated that female beauty isn’t complete without clean, styled, and beautiful hair. The correct hairstyle means a lot. The right hair shape has the ability to completely transform one’s face, thus elevating their confidence.
What can we do to take care of our hair as women?
The universal tip for hair care is to wash it with adequate shampoo. The best kinds are organic ones suited for everyday use. It is best to wash your hair on the day when you decide to put it up in a ponytail, says Aleksandar, who advises against putting your hair up in any way, as it can damage it and cause traction alopecia.
When it comes to my own hair, I have to say that I am deeply attached to it. It is a beauty statement, a source of confidence, and even comfort. I have been on a constant hair journey throughout the years, first through adjusting to my hair fading from bright blonde to dirty blonde (almost brunette), to it falling out due to sudden changes in my lifestyle.
We are working through it. It may be tough right now, but I am learning to be gentle and patient with it. I am taking the time to nourish my mane properly and I’m giving it all the love and positive affirmations it deserves.
My hair is a great source of my power as a woman. I shall do everything I can to preserve it. I shall let it guide me, forwards. I shall be kind as I do so, and I hope you’ll do the same.
